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“I know.” Jill couldn’t really deny that. “I just love Andrew so much, it hurts to breathe without him.”
Kelly shook her head and then looked at the ceiling in frustration. “Okay, you need to start from the beginning. Why did you end things if you love him? You guys were getting married, so in theory – in the absence of some scheme to get around a clause in a will like Jack and I when we were married – it’s a good thing to be in love with the man you plan to spend the rest of your life with.”
Jill sank down onto the couch and curled her feet under her. When Rev lay down on the floor near Jill, Kelly took her place at the other end of the couch and Jill launched into the whole story.
“So,” she concluded, “when I finally realized I’d fallen in love with him, I just couldn’t go through with the marriage. He’s always shown he cared about me. I know Andrew cares a hell of a lot more than Jake did, but that’s just not enough. I can’t go into a marriage that’s going to be so one-sided again.”
Kelly reached over and squeezed her friend’s hand. “You know what I think? I have a feeling with Jake, you found a man who was perfectly willing to tell you he loved you, even though he didn’t. And I think with Andrew, you found a man who can love you but can’t tell you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I see love when you guys are together, but from what Jack tells me, Blair really did a number on him. I doubt he can bring himself to admit how he feels to you, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised to hear he loves you.”
Jill shook her head, needing to ward off the false hope. She couldn’t go there. It would lead to more pain in the end.
“I’d like to think so but I can’t take that chance. If I married Andrew and it turned out he didn’t love me, I wouldn’t recover this time, Kel. He would stay with me for the money, but eventually he’d resent me. We’d end up hating each other. Hell, I’d hate myself for keeping him with me. But, I wouldn’t be able to let him go.”
She swallowed hard, trying to ward off the tears that threatened – but they fell anyway.
Kelly had no more words to offer so she held Jill while she cried. When Jill was spent, Kelly helped her clean up and tucked her into bed before letting herself out the front door.
If Andrew could just stay mad at Jill, he could hold the pain in check. So he worked and he stewed and he stayed angry. He told himself over and over that Jill was just like Blair – that Jill hurt him just like he knew she would.
Over the next two weeks, he threw himself further into work, spending long hours at the office, taking on new projects, and terrorizing his staff with his bitter anger. Andrew knew he was driving everyone around him crazy but he didn’t know any other way to keep the pain from bubbling up inside him.
On Thursday afternoon of the second week, Jack finally walked into Andrew’s office and shut the door.
“Andrew, you gotta stop this.”
“Stop what?” He looked at Jack as if he didn’t know what he was talking about but he knew Jack wasn’t buying it.
“The whole finance team is walking around on tip-toes because they’re afraid of setting you off. I’ve had three of your staff tell me they need to take their comp time next week. Your staff is trying to get away from you. No one can handle your temper right now.”
Andrew let his head fall into his hands. “Yeah, I know. I just really don’t know what to do about it.”
“What happened with Jill? You told us you broke up but why?”
“I wish I knew. She just said she can’t marry me. She’s too afraid I’ll leave her someday. I gave her a fucking prenup that gave her everything I own if I left her, Jack. What more can I do?”
“Do you love her?” Leave it to Jack to know to ask that question, Andrew thought wryly.
Jack had always been able to read Andrew.
Andrew could only nod.
“Did you tell her that?”
He shook his head. “She’s not looking for love. She doesn’t believe love can last after what Jake put her through. She wants stability and guarantees, which I gave her, but I guess those aren’t enough.”
Jack had no answers for Andrew. “Come on. Let’s go to my house and let Mrs. Poole spoil us while we get wasted. Kelly’s headed to the spa for a long weekend with her sister so we can drown your sorrows in whiskey. I’ll have Chad meet us there.”
“No, man. I don’t want to end up like I did with Blair.” Jack and Chad had pulled Andrew out of a week-long drinking binge when Blair left. Andrew had no intention of going down that road again. “I’m just gonna head home.”
Jennie knocked on Chad’s office door and poked her head in.
“Got a sec, big man?” Jennie asked, irreverent as ever when addressing her boss.
Chad gave her the tolerant sigh he reserved for Jennie and waved her into the room.
She shut the door and took a seat across from his desk.
“So far, I’ve got nothing we can really document on Theresa. There are odd things. For example, Andrew’s been in a piss poor mood the last two weeks since, well you know...”
