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Jennie sobered as she finished, realizing he would give his heart to someone one day. And it wouldn’t be her.
That thought hit her harder than she’d thought it would. She didn’t want him to give his heart to someone else, but she also couldn’t face the idea of letting him give it to her.
Letting him love her with all his heart and soul, the way she knew he’d love. She turned to face the ocean as Chad seemed to process what she said. After several minutes, he quietly resumed the game.
“Truth or dare, Jen?”
“Truth,” Jennie said. When Chad didn’t respond right away, she turned to look at him through her lashes and found him watching her.
“Truth,” she said again.
“Why did you back off that time we kissed? Was it because of your husband?” His voice was quiet now.
His question made Jennie freeze, her beer halfway to her mouth. She knew exactly what he was asking about. She’d kissed him once. And, for a minute, she forgot about Kyle. For one glorious, wonderful, breathtaking minute. One gut-wrenching, tortuous, heartbreaking minute she’d forgotten the man she loved.
The realization that Chad could make her forget her husband both broke her heart and scared the hell out of her at the same time. She lowered her beer and kept her eyes on the ocean. “I didn’t know you knew about…about Kyle.”
Chad’s eyes were gentle but they bore into her the same as they always did. “Background check. I always run them when someone joins Sutton. I never said anything because it wasn’t really related to the job. And, you never talked about him so I figured you didn’t want anyone to know.”
“Yeah, that makes sense. I guess I never thought about that.”
And then she recited the facts about her and Kyle’s marriage and his death. She recited them as if they were nothing more than facts.
Not as if they were the fundamental pieces of her life that had been torn apart, never to be put back together again. It was the only way she could get through it.
Chad was quiet while she told her story, and for several minutes afterward, and she was glad. Most people gasped and told her how sorry they were. Which did nothing to help her.
There was nothing that could fix her pain and Chad seemed to know this. After a minute, he took her hand and laced his fingers in hers, but still he didn’t speak.
“I pulled away the day we kissed because I…I don’t know. I just can’t even imagine being with anyone other than Kyle, you know?” She didn’t expect an answer and he didn’t give one. She knew that Chad did get it. Somehow, he understood.
She raised her bottle to her mouth and took a sip. “Truth or dare?” she asked.
A long drawn out moment passed before Chad answered. “Truth.”
“What are you thinking right now?”
Chad cleared his throat. “That you’re strong as hell. That I hate that there’s nothing I can say or do to take away your pain.” He paused. “That I want to go back to easier questions.”
She laughed but there wasn’t much humor in it.
“Truth or dare?” Chad asked.
“Truth.”
They played on, well into the night, keeping the topics light and fun from then on. As with everything between the two of them, it eventually snaked back around to sex and Chad threw back a question Jennie had asked him earlier.
“Kinkiest thing you’ve ever done.” Chad’s answer had made Jennie blush when she asked the question earlier in the night.
She squirmed, not wanting to tell Chad, but, he’d know if she lied. He always did.
She focused on the corner of the label on her beer bottle, peeling it away from the sweaty glass so she wouldn’t have to meet his eyes.
“When we were in college, Kyle bought me these panties that, um…” she started. “They had, um, well, they were battery operated. And he had the remote control. We’d be studying and he could turn them on whenever he wanted and I couldn’t stop him. He’d get all turned on knowing he was teasing the crap out of me and, well, clearly I’d get all worked up. We’d see who could hold out the longest without jumping the other one.”
She thought back and laughed. “I don’t think it was really fair, though.”
“Wh...” Chad cleared his throat. “Why not?”
