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“You need to tell them. Jennie. Your mom’s already guessed,” Chad said quietly.
“What? No, she hasn’t!” Jennie shook her head, her eyes wide, as if she were still trying to will everything away.
“Jennie, you’re either sick or you’re pregnant, but you’re scaring the wits out of me. Tell me which one it is,” Jennie’s mother said. Kyle’s mother didn’t look surprised but the men sure did.
They dropped their forks and gaped.
It must be a mother thing. Mothers seemed to have radar.
Jennie looked up into the faces of her parents and her in-laws. Faces that showed nothing but love and worry for the woman sitting in front of them. And, then she bolted.
Chapter 32
This can’t be happening. It just can’t be happening.
Jennie hadn’t planned on telling her parents about the baby on this trip, and she certainly hadn’t planned to tell them in front of Kyle’s parents. She wasn’t showing yet so she hadn’t even thought she’d need to face this so soon. She thought she had time.
She paced in the living room as Zeke circled around her, whining. Chad came quietly into the room and sat on the couch—ready and waiting as if on standby until she needed him.
She realized he’d always be there for her. Always be ready to help her, to save her, when she needed him.
Why he still cared about her, she couldn't figure out. She’d caused him so much pain. After all the horrible things she'd said to him, he still sat ready and willing to help her.
It wasn’t long before the others followed him, waiting for her to explain.
“Jennie, please tell me you’re not sick. Please.” Her mother spoke quietly, but the panic in her voice was evident.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m not sick.” Jennie swiped at tears and wrapped her arms around herself, holding tight.
She still hadn’t admitted to being pregnant, but based on her answer it was now clear to everyone in the room.
Jennie’s dad met Chad’s gaze. He didn’t sound angry when he spoke, which surprised Jennie. “Do you love her, Chad?”
Chad looked straight at her father when he answered. “Very much, but unfortunately, that’s not relevant here.”
Jennie felt her breath coming in shallow gasps and she thought she might pass out. A small part of her realized she was probably hyperventilating but she didn’t know what to do about that.
She didn’t know how to stop what was happening. She wanted it all to just stop. Her arms shook as she tried to will away the events unfolding before her.
It was Kyle’s mom who spoke next. Jennie had always loved her as much as she loved her own mother. It hurt to have both women looking at her now. She wanted to hide, to crawl away and curl up, instead of facing this.
“Jennie, honey, I know you loved Kyle. I know how hard it was for you to lose him. But, it’s time, honey. It’s time for you to let him go. It’s time to let yourself be happy again.”
Don’t they understand? Don’t they get it? She couldn’t be happy. Wouldn’t be happy in another man’s arms. They didn’t understand what she had done. They didn’t know she was the reason their son died.
Tears streamed, unencumbered, down Jennie’s face as she faced the people who loved her. Would they still love her if they knew the truth?
“Jennie—” Kyle’s dad took an almost imperceptible step forward and seemed to want to reach for her, but didn’t. “Honey, she’s right. Kyle wouldn’t want to see you like this. He wouldn’t want you to give up on having a life, on finding love again, just because he’s gone.”
She heard the murmured agreements by those around her, but she knew the truth. She knew what they didn’t know. What no one could know.
The words were wrenched from her soul, but it was time to tell them. “I can’t. I... You don’t know. I’m the reason he died. I killed Kyle.”
The words came pouring out in a torrent that Jennie couldn’t control, couldn’t check in any way.
“I told him to wait. Kyle was sick and getting so many headaches. He was tired all the time, but he had just started his new job. When we graduated from school, Kyle started it right away but I didn’t have a job yet. Money was so tight and his health insurance wouldn’t kick in until he’d been at his job for ninety days.”
Jennie doubled over feeling like the emotion of telling them would cut her in two, but Chad’s arms came around her, catching her.
