AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The first time, in Florida, Jennie had been hiding from her feelings. Today, she still couldn’t say she was completely open to her feelings for Chad, but she was a lot more open to them than she had been a few days earlier.
She was beginning to accept how much she cared for him. He’d been her friend for so long. Her support in so many ways. He protected her. He cared for her without question whenever she needed him.
But there was more than that. He made her feel special. Cherished. He made her laugh and he held her when she cried. So many men would have walked away from her a long time ago, considering what she’d put him through. She knew it would never have crossed Chad’s mind to do that.
Chad hung up the phone and turned to Jennie. Before she could speak, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her slowly, deeply. Jennie felt herself relax into him. He felt so...right. But a small part of Jennie still panicked at what that might mean.
Chad pulled back. “You okay?”
Jennie nodded, forcing herself to breathe deeply. She needed to put the past behind her and let herself see where things could go with Chad. She owed herself that. More than that, she owed Chad that much.
“I’m good. Hungry,” she said, patting her tummy. As if on cue, her stomach growled.
With a laugh, he stood and put his hand out to pull Jennie up with him.
If she weren’t pregnant and very much in need of food, the sight of Chad without anything on would have sent her tumbling right back into bed. She would never get over the sight of him like that.
Jennie thought she could spend hours learning every inch of his body, exploring every muscle, memorizing each taut line and every scar from his days in the military.
“Keep looking at me like that and we’re not getting food any time soon,” Chad said, eyes ablaze as they took her in.
“Sorry, baby needs food,” she answered, with one hand on her stomach again.
He dropped a kiss to her mouth then pulled on a pair of boxers and a shirt.
“Why don’t you get dressed? I’ll see if there’s anything to eat in the kitchen. There won’t be anything fresh but I might have some frozen bread I can toast to tide us over.”
Jennie’s repertoire of foods she could eat was still a bit limited. They walked down the hall together with Chad breaking off to turn toward the kitchen and Jennie heading into the guest room to get her clothes. She pulled on a sundress then sat staring at her purse for a few minutes. She knew what she needed to do. She just needed a minute to build up the courage to take the next step.
She took a deep breath and went to the small zippered pocket of her purse. The envelope she withdrew was soft with age. Some of the seams were threatening to give up. It was still sealed. In all these years, she’d transferred it from purse to purse, never opening it.
Kyle had told her to open it when she was ready. She never had been.
She wasn’t sure she was ready now, but she knew she had to get there. It was time for her to put the past behind her. Jennie sat on the edge of the bed for a long time before she slipped a finger under the flap, tearing along the well-worn seam. Her hands shook as she unfolded the single sheet of paper.
She laughed through her tears as she read the first sentence.
How many years did it take, Jennie? One? Two? I hope not more than that, Bugsy.
Jennie had no idea how Kyle had come up with the nickname ‘Bugsy’ for her, but he had. And, it had stuck.
I thought I could beat this thing, but I waited too long. I thought there was so much time, but it turns out I was wrong about that. I wanted so many more years with you.
I wanted a lifetime to make you happy. To make you laugh. To raise babies with you and see what an amazing mom you would be. I wanted all of that and I’m so sorry I couldn’t give that to you. I’m so sorry.
I know it’s cliché but I want you to fall in love again, Jennie. I know you. You’ll resist it. You’ll fight to hold on to what we had. But I need you to let go—for me. I need to know you’ll be happy again someday.
I can’t stand the thought of you going through life without really smiling. Really laughing. Without being held and loved and cherished.
Tears fell in large droplets onto the paper, smudging the ink as Jennie read. There wasn’t any reining them in. She swiped at the tears with the back of her hands but more just followed.
It kills me to think of someone else holding you, but this is one time I can’t be selfish. I don’t want you to be alone. So pick a man who makes you smile. Who makes you laugh. Who loves you and makes everything right in your world. Promise me, Bugsy. Move on.
And every once in a while, look up to the sky and let me see your gorgeous face. Your funny lopsided smile and your beautiful cinnamon eyes.
And for heaven’s sake, if it took you longer than two years to open this letter, find him quickly! You’ve wasted enough time.
I’ll love you always and forever,
