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Holding the mug in both hands, she looks down at it, and opens her mouth to talk.
“I was meaning to ask this earlier, when we… I mean, after we had sex, but… did you sleep with anyone while we were apart?” Guilt slams into me like a fully loaded semi-truck. Her question surprises me, because while I know she didn’t sleep with anyone, I’m not so pure. I don’t want to answer her, for fear she’ll be angry, but if I say nothing, she’ll know the answer is yes, anyway. The other option would be lying to her, but I won’t do that either, not that I really could.
“Yes. I had some one night stands last year,” I confess, while looking out the window. I can’t bring myself to look into her eyes. “I tried to forget you, let you go, so I buried myself in work and mindless sex with random women, but none of it helped. It didn’t matter who I slept with, they never compared to you, never made it so that I could forget about what we had.” I pause, giving her a chance to say something, and when she doesn’t, I clear my throat and continue talking. “I haven’t slept with anyone in over a year. You have always been and will always be mine, Gracie, just as I will always be yours. I love you.”
Silence settles over us and a knot of worry forms in my gut. The last thing I need is to push her away, I don’t want to lose her, but if I’m going to make this work then I’m going to have to be honest with her. It takes her a few minutes before she gets up the courage to ask me another question. “Why didn’t you just talk to me? You keep saying you love me, and you missed me. If that’s true, then why didn’t you tell me that you knew where I was the whole time?”
Fuck, of course she goes for the balls. The answer is a complicated one, very complicated. I wanted to go to her, call her, tell her I loved her, but after finding out she had been given money, and a new identity, I figured I could let her go. I thought that leaving her might be better for her… for us. But I was wrong, there is no me without Grace. After a while, I started watching her… and watching her soon turned into something more… an obsession.
“It’s hard to explain, Grace, and eventually I will explain it to you, but right now all that matters is that I’m here. I know you need me just as much as I need you.”
“I needed you two years ago,” she interrupts me.
Her voice suddenly so loud it fills the entire car. “I don’t need you anymore,” she adds a second later her voice coming out much quieter, the anger in her words replaced with pain.
I gulp. Hearing her say she doesn’t need me, it hurts, it hurts real fucking bad. Worse than any bullet wound.
“You think you don’t need me, but that’s only because I did everything I could to protect you. I made certain nothing, and no one touched you. You were safe because of me.” Thinking back to two years ago and how hard it was for me to stay away, the nights that I literally had to drink myself to pass out.
“I was safe because I wasn’t with you,” she mumbles under her breath, her eyes peering out the window and into the night.
My jaw clenches and my nostrils flare. I can feel the anger simmering in my veins. Thank fuck I’ll get to spill blood tonight because I fucking need it. I need to unleash some of this pent-up rage. Grace has got me wound tight, spiraling out of control and into the darkness. She has no fucking clue what I’ve done to save her, the people I’ve killed, the things I’ve seen. I became the person I am to rid the world of bad people, of people that almost hurt her and Sophie. I did all of this to protect her.
Focusing all my attention on the building I notice a car pull up. I sit up a little straighter and curl my hands into fists. I watch two guys get out of the car and walk into the building. One of them is Marco, I recognize him from the picture Xander sent me. If Xander is correct, he won’t be in there very long. The car will circle around the block a few times and then Marco will exit on the side of the building and his car will pull up around the back. I watch, and I wait, not making a single move until all of the pieces have been put into motion.
