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I don’t know how to hold on to her.
What can I do to make her stay?
Because right now, she might as well be a handful of sand slipping through my grasping fingers.
17
HANNAH
“You’re cheating.”
I grin smugly to myself, seeing as how Nathan can’t see me. “You were the one who wanted to sit like this.”
“Yeah. Sit. You, madam, are not sitting. You’re squirming. And very suggestively, too, I might add.”
A snicker leaks out, even as I bite down on my lips to try to keep it contained.
We’re on the floor of Nathan’s dorm. He’s got his back propped up against the couch, and I’m tucked in between his legs. This means he has to wrap both his arms around me and hold the gaming controller in front of the two of us. For him, the position has to be kind of awkward.
But as I said, it was his suggestion.
“I think you just can’t handle that I’m getting better at this than you.”
Friday nights no longer consist of me reading alone in the library. Now, they’re all about hot chocolate and Mario Kart. And sex. Which tends to happen first because the second we’re alone together and near a bed, Nathan starts kissing me like he’s drowning and I’m an oxygen tank.
But it’s not just Fridays; barely a day in these past two weeks has gone by without us at least meeting up for a quick coffee on campus. Not surprisingly, Lucifer always offers to order them.
I should be happy. I should be content.
Instead, whenever one of those emotions threatens to put me at ease, I shrink away from it. If I try to pretend like this silly, easy relationship will last forever, then I’ll be putting myself at risk for a massive heartbreak. There are no guarantees, and I can’t make a decision about my future happiness just because this guy gives me flutters in my chest.
Three of the universities in New York that I’d applied to sent me acceptance letters. I haven’t told Nathan. I also haven’t replied to the schools.
But it’s the end of the week, and I still have two more to go before the end of the semester. No need to get depressed about it all right now. Might as well enjoy the time I have left with him before I put on my big-girl panties and make the mature decision.
“You’ve improved a little bit. But you still have a long way to go, young grasshopper.” He lets go of the controller to reach under my T-shirt. The light touch tickles, and I writhe in his lap, giggling and protesting but to no avail.
We’re wrapped up together, laughing and play fighting, when the front door bursts open, and Nathan’s roommate stumbles in with his girl of the night.
Bobby scored well.
The Amazon towers in her heeled sandals, each step causing her hip-length russet hair to sway around her pale, freckled shoulders. I admire the cupid curve of her mouth and how she expertly applied her eyeliner—a skill my unsteady hand has yet to master.
Much of my playful giddiness deflates. Neither Nathan nor I enjoy hanging around and listening to Bobby’s rousing sexual exploits. Guess it’s time for me to head home.
“Oh. Hey, guys. This is—”
We don’t get to find out if Bobby remembered this one’s name tonight because she cuts him off, “Your shirt! Oh my God! I love it.” The mystery girl shoves away from Nathan’s shocked roommate to crouch in front of me. Pinching the bottom of my T-shirt, she pulls it taut. “My guardian angel wears a trench coat. That is so great! You’re aSupernaturalfan?”
I’m impressed. Not many people pick up on my T-shirt’s reference to one of the main characters from my favorite TV show.
“Supernatural?” Nathan’s curiosity is obvious. “That have a pentagram-sun symbol?”
“Duh. The anti-possession tattoo. You watch it?” The stranger clutches her hands under her chin, looking like a child who’s stumbled across a puppy.
“He doesn’t.” I give Nathan a gentle elbow. “But I think I’ve rewatched the whole series, like, five times.”
“Five times?” The Amazon scoffs. “Girl, you need to catch up! You should join theSupernaturalClub.”
