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I went through the motions of washing my hair and scrubbing my body as if I were a robot. It was strictly mechanical, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I’d conditioned my hair before shampooing it.
After getting clean, it was almost as if my legs refused to do their job and hold me up any longer. I ended up on my knees in the shower under the spray of water with my wet hair clinging to my neck and back like a second skin.
Thankfully I’d stopped crying. Small mercies.
I couldn’t stop seeing Marcus’s face in my mind. I tried to blink him away, but every time I closed my eyes, there he was staring at me unashamedly with something I couldn’t comprehend burning in his eyes. He’d looked at me in a way I had never in my wildest dreams imagined coming from Marcus.
There had been a time when I’d viewed the man as my father figure, and I had even wanted him to fill that role for me when I’d never gotten a choice on who filled it before.
Then I’d met Rain, and everything had changed. But there was no denying that Marcus still meant a lot to me and played an important role in my life.
Now everything was changing for the worst again, and I didn’t want any part of it.
I had accepted the fact that my life would never be normal because I wouldn’t ever be normal. But that didn’t mean I wanted to be derailed at every turn. This hurt way worse than anything else had before, and I wasn’t even really aware of what was going on. I just knew that whatever it turned out to be, it was likely going to kill something vital inside of me, and I was really tired of getting shit on by people who were supposed to love me or just by people in general.
I was tired of crying.
I was tired of the heartache.
I was tired of feeling like everyone else was in control of my life and I was a child sitting at the adults’ table.
Things needed to change around here, or I was going to open my mouth, start screaming, and never be able to close my mouth again in order to make it stop.
“Baby, what the fuck? What the hell are you doing on the floor in here? Are you crying again? I swear, when I get a hold of that son of a bitch, I’m going to take my time beating the life out of him for making you cry again and violating you the way he did. Please, baby, stop crying.”
Quinton crouched down in front of me and cupped my face. He swiped the pads of his thumbs across my cheeks, wiping away my tears.
“Do you feel like he violated you too?” I asked in a quiet voice, completely stuck on that word he’d used. That was exactly what it’d felt like—a violation.
“No.” He shook his head. “He wasn’t looking at me, he was all about you.”
Well, that didn’t make me feel any better. Call me selfish, but now I almost wished Marcus had checked out Quinton’s cock too, just to make us sort of even.
“Where is he right now?” I asked. I left so many things unasked but wasn’t brave enough to voice. Sometimes you really were better off not knowing. Some truths hurt way too much.
He shook his head again and this time refused to meet my eyes. “It pisses me off that I have to say this to you, but I have no fucking idea. By the time Simon and I got over there, he’d already retreated into the house. He spelled the door, so we had to find another way in, and while we were doing that, he was driving out of his garage and speeding away to who the fuck knows where. I called everybody home for a meeting, and I’ve asked Julian and Damien to stay here until we figure out what the fuck is going on, just to be safe.”
Just to be safe. There were those fucking words again. I just bet Julian and Damien loved hearing them as much as I did.
“Baby?”
I closed my eyes. He wanted to hear that I was okay after what he’d just told me about Marcus. I absolutely was not okay, and I didn’t feel like lying to him so I could tell him what he wanted to hear. My throat didn’t seem to work, and I couldn’t get any words out anyway.
“We’re going to find him, Ariel, and we’re going to figure out what the hell he thinks he’s doing. But right now what I need is for you to tell me you believe me. I need to hear the words from you, otherwise I’m going to freak the fuck out. I’m tired of seeing you cry and putting on a brave face so we’ll think you’re not scared. You’re not fooling anyone, and we’re all ready to do what we have to in order to make it stop. Now, I need to hear some words out of your mouth, baby.”
Fucking Quinton. He always had to right all the wrongs and take every problem on himself. I’d bet this shit over the last few months was slowly eating him alive from the inside. He thought he was everyone’s protector and took it personally when he thought any of us were threatened or even had our feelings slightly hurt. It was one of the many traits about him that I found to be highly attractive but very frustrating all at the same time.
“I’m not okay, Quint,” I said honestly. “I don’t want to talk about Marcus anymore right now though. I have no idea what’s going on with him, and there’s no excuse for him creeping on us the way he did. It hurts too much to even try to think about right now, so fuck him and fuck this whole thing.”
I brushed his hands away from my face and shifted away from him. My knees were starting to ache from kneeling on the floor for so long. The numbness was clearly starting to wear off, and I had no idea if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but it was definitely happening.
His eyes took on a wicked gleam, and I knew I was in trouble with him.
“I think what you need is a distraction, and I do believe I made some promises to you out in the pool earlier. You know how I feel about broken promises. Get on your feet and push that pussy up in my face.”
For fuck’s sake. Not this again. Did he really think sex solved everything? And why did he think he had to be the boss every damn time? That shit didn’t always fly with me.
Right now, I could really use some control over my own goddamn life. This seemed like the perfect time to start taking it back for myself.
