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And that, well, that pissed me off even more.
It got to a point where everything with Rain pissed me off, and then I kind of hated him. Well, sort of. I could never really hate someone who I thought I was kind of in love with.
I had been ready to blow his shit all up when things heated up for Ariel, and Baxter and I had been sent away to stay with another coven for our own safety. I hadn’t wanted to go, but after being with Raven’s coven for about a week, I realized just how good it was for me to get some time away from my obsession.
Being there with them, I had learned something that I had only started to learn by being around Ariel’s coven members. Not all men who were witches were motherfuckers who wanted to covet me like treasure or treat me like I was their very own personal, mindless sex slave who might one day be able to give them little magical girl babies.
No fucking thanks, that was not the life for me and never would be.
But my time away with another coven who actually proved to be decent human beings was actually really good for me, some would even say therapeutic. They were good people and, honestly, maybe I had needed a break from the freaking chaos that sucked you in when you were a part of Ariel’s life.
Bless the girl, she had it going on, but she was a fucking magnet for disaster and all things even potentially horrible.
I didn’t want horrible for me anymore, I’d had more than enough of it.
So the break—which it had been for me, but not the people here at home—had actually been good for me when I stopped raging against it and just went with the flow.
Unfortunately—or fortunately, it all depended on how you looked at it—the moment it was cleared for me to come home, I packed my and Baxter’s bags and hauled our asses home.
Luckily for me, Baxter was probably more eager to return home to Rain than I was. He didn’t put up a fuss at all.
I loved that kid, but I didn’t love him like he was my own.
We were family, yes, always and forever without question, but I never wanted to replace his mother or take over that role. It sucked for the kid, but you really only got one mother and that bond wasn’t something I’d ever even try to breach.
He was lucky to have Rain. The man had no qualms about breaking down walls.
I just wished he’d turn that attention on me, even a little bit.
I feared that maybe not wanting to be a mother to Baxter was something Rain would find as a strike against me because the man was all in to be the kid’s new daddy, or really his only daddy, but I wasn’t interested in it, and I wasn’t about to try and fake it. I wanted to be the kid’s friend, and I thought I did a really good job of that.
A smarter woman probably would have long since backed off by now and slunk away with her tail tucked between her legs right along with her wounded pride, but I didn’t have any quit in me. Some days I sure as hell wished I did, though, because rejection wasn’t exactly fun, and after a while, the shit just got to be flat out embarrassing.
I didn’t know what was wrong with me and why I couldn’t just stop throwing myself at a man who didn’t want me.
Now I had Romero chasing after me like an obsessed fool, and even though I kind of liked him, I also feared I was doing the same thing to him that Rain was doing to me. Because as much as I was starting to like the man, I couldn’t seem to accept any move he tried to make on me.
It was like I wanted all or nothing.
The whole thing was a bit confusing and very messy.
It was also like an addiction, a game I couldn’t stop playing.
I was worried it was going to blow up in my face and leave me with nothing. Still, even that wasn’t enough to get me to stop playing it.
I never said I was smart, but I am pretty sure I said Iwasslightly deranged.
2
I Could Be Normal
Isobel
I hated it when giggling girls came inside in a pack with one of them looking to get some kind of butterfly tramp stamp. It always put me in a terrible mood.
They were happy, giggled too much, and all too happy to hold each other’s hands while spending mommy and daddy’s money on a freaking tramp stamp of all things.
I was green with envy, practically writhing with it.
