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“I need a walk.” She started up the stairs when Eli’s voice stopped her.
“Don’t go too far. We’re supposed to get a storm.”
“Wonderful.” Sarah stomped out of the basement and out of the house. As soon as the cold breeze hit her face and she was off the deck and down by the barn, she let the tears fall from her eyes. If this didn’t work, she didn’t know what would.
* * *
Eli wouldn’t say she hadn’t expected Sarah to bring up a more serious relationship, but she had hoped they could have an entire visit without it. She didn’t have an answer. She’d wanted more time to figure everything out, to find the balance neither of them had.
They were both consumed by work, her by the ranch and the farm, Sarah by music and touring and whatever she did with albums. Eli wasn’t even sure why they still called them that anymore. Defeat swarmed her. She sat down heavily on her bed, still naked with the blanket wrapped around her, still warm from Sarah’s body against her. Closing her eyes, Eli could still feel Sarah moving in her.
She wanted so much to have a relationship with her, to be with her, to live the dream they both seemed to have, but every time the moment came, she chickened out. The running assumption from her and from Bill—because who else was she going to talk to—was Bridget. But that really wasn’t why she was hesitating. Bridget was Bridget, and she’d figure that out no matter what happened, but Eli wasn’t holding off because of her.
No, she was holding off because she could not fathom how any of it would work. Sarah lived in Dallas. Her life and her world, everything was in Dallas. Eli had no idea how much time it took to record an album, but she suspected it was a lot. It wasn’t just the tours and the concerts that would keep Sarah away fromIndigo, it was her life, her career, everything that was her.
And everything that was Eli was atIndigo.
She didn’t like to travel, she didn’t want to go to far off places and see new things, she didn’t want to lose her businesses, her cattle, her farm.
This was stupid. Eli sprung to her feet and shucked the blanket. She grabbed her clothes, dressing as quickly as she could. If she wasn’t going to take a chance and see how it would work, then she was as bad as Bridget had been. She wouldn’t lose out on having Sarah in her life because she was too stupid to take a risk.
By the time she reached the deck, the storm was far closer than she’d thought it’d be. Searching the grounds nearby for Sarah, she saw nothing. Eli stepped off the deck and into the brutal wind. Hunching against it, she took the winding path down to the barn.
The animals inside were restless, but that wasn’t unusual with a storm brewing. Eli called out into the dark barn. “Sarah, you in here?”
When she didn’t get an answer, Eli turned to head back out the door. She stopped short when Sarah stood directly in front of her. With a hand against her racing heart, Eli let out a breath.
“You scared the crap out of me.”
“Sorry,” Sarah answered. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want to get caught in the storm.”
“We should head up to the house so we don’t.”
“Probably.”
Neither of them moved. Sarah looked tired, good and truly tired in a way she hadn’t seen since the night they’d first met. Building her gumption, Eli prepared herself to speak, but Sarah put a hand out to stop her.
“Don’t say it if you don’t mean it, Eli. I don’t want platitudes.”
“Would you shut up?”
Sarah raised a singular eyebrow.
“Thank you. You can’t just show up on my doorstep unannounced, fuck me senseless in two seconds flat, and expect my brain to keep up for this kind of conversation. Unlike you, Sarah, I don’t move at the speed of light. I take a much longer gander around the field before I decide where I’m going to graze.”
“What?” Sarah shook her head.
“I needed time to catch up with what you were even saying. You can’t tell me that we haven’t been going at whatever this is like we’ve jumped in the fast lane. Two months. I have literally known you two months, and of those two months, we have spent barely any time together.”
“I can’t—”
“Shush.” Eli put her hand up. “It’s my turn to talk.”
Sarah conceded again.
Shoving her hands into her pockets, Eli stared Sarah down. “Why did you come here?”
“I wanted to see you.”
