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Chapter 18
Azalea’s heartclenched as Jewel walked out of her house. Every muscle in her body was tense, just waiting for her to take a step, say something, anything. But she couldn’t. For the life of her, she could not make her voice speak, her hands and arms move, her feet step. Her entire body was rejecting all the commands she wanted it to do as she stood frozen.
Turning toward the large window in the front of the house, she watched as Jewel stomped toward her car and sat in the driver’s seat. Hot tears slid down Azalea’s cheeks, staining her skin. What was wrong with her? She very likely just lost her best friend because of her inability to say a damn word. And Jewel was right.
When had they fallen in love?
Her jaw tightened as Jewel’s engine turned, the vehicle roaring to life, lights brightly flashing across the damp street. If Jewel drove away, she would be gone forever. Azalea knew that. There would be no going back if they didn’t figure this out today.
Azalea wanted to move. She wanted to run out her front door and straight to Jewel’s car, tell her to stop, tell her to come inside, tell her she loved her. As she took a ragged breath, tears continued to fall. Everything was so blurred. The question kept pinging around her head.
When had they fallen in love?
Jewel was so much more open than she was. She deserved so much better than Azalea could provide, yet there they were. Staring at one another through the darkness, through the windows, missing each other by a mile when all they were doing was reaching for each other. But she knew, deep down, she knew Jewel wouldn’t keep reaching if she couldn’t at least see Azalea trying. Wiping the salty demons from her cheeks, Azalea took a step toward the front door—toward Jewel, toward bridging the gap she had inadvertently created—when the front door opened.
A quick glance told her it was Jewel. The car was still out front, the lights off. She held her breath as Jewel stepped into the warmth of the house, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jacket as they stared at each other from across the room. This had to be her step. This had to be her choice. Willing her legs to move, Azalea strode across the room as if her life depended on it.
She didn’t stop as she barreled right into Jewel, cupping her cheeks and bringing their lips together in a sloppy, bruising, messy kiss. Jewel sucked in a breath, her cold fingers tightening into fists at Azalea’s waist as she barely moved. There was still a chasm between them Azalea needed to fix.
Slowly backing away to give each of them some space, Azalea shook her head, tears streaking down her cheeks again. Jewel reached up to brush them away, pity in her gaze. Azalea croaked out, “I’m not good at this.”
“Good at what?”
“Relationships.”
Jewel’s lips twitched. “You’re good at it.”
“Not the romantic kind,” Azalea admitted, staring down at their joined hands. Another shuddering breath. “I’m not ready to be out to everyone.”
“I honestly don’t even think they’ll notice a difference,” Jewel said with a light chuckle. “Think about it. We do everything together, anyway. We go out to eat together, just us, we grocery shop, we’re always at each other’s house. How will they even notice?”
Azalea clenched her jaw, the answer on the tip of her tongue, but she wasn’t sure how to say it. Indigo had been lovely, but they’d still hidden from everyone there, Eli aside. They’d never held hands in front of the others, they’d never kissed where anyone could accidentally find them.
If they were going to be together, she didn’t want to hide it. Azalea knew Jewel wouldn’t, and that it wouldn’t be long until someone figured out something was different between them. The overwhelming need to protect Jewel crushed her. Azalea brushed two fingers over Jewel’s lips before raising her gaze to look into those dark brown eyes, beautiful eyes.
“I can’t lose you in my life,” Azalea whispered. “And if we have to stop this so we can remain friends, then we need to do that.”
Jewel’s lips parted.
“Please,” Azalea interrupted anything Jewel might have said. “Please, just listen. You’re my best friend, and I can’t lose that. I can’t lose you.”
“You won’t lose me. I promise. I’m right here. I’m not leaving.”
A sorrowful smile flitted across her lips. “I want that to be true.”
“It is true. Lea, look at me.”
It took her longer than she wanted to admit to make eye contact with Jewel, but as soon as she did, she knew she’d been right earlier. They were in love with each other. Something had changed. Somewhere along the way in the last few months, they had clicked into new territory. Jewel hadn’t been lying when she’d said she loved her when they were on their walk. She’d hidden it in friendship, but Azalea hadn’t missed the underlying tension and passion in those words. She’d wanted to. She’d wanted to ignore it, and she had for as long as she could. Jewel hadn’t lied earlier when she’d said she hadn’t fallen in love with her clone.
Reaching up, Azalea wiped the fresh tears from her eyes as she nodded. “Yeah.”
“You won’t lose me, ever. I’m right here. I want to be here.”
Azalea felt something snap in her. Whether it was the last of the walls she had built or the dam she’d been trying so desperately to hold back, who knew, but she leaned in. This time, when their lips touched, there was nothing but hope filling her.
Wrapping a hand around the back of Jewel’s head, Azalea pushed in even more. This time everything felt right where it had felt wrong before. She pulled Jewel’s lower lip between her teeth, scraping lightly to tease. Yes, she did want this. She was scared to death of it and what it meant and would mean for their futures, but she couldn’t live without her best friend.
“Lea,” Jewel stopped, moving away slightly.
