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“What the hell happened? I thought you were doing the right things? You had me driving you all over the place. That girl in there told me that you found out who killed your mom. When did you start claiming women? What the fuck happened?” Jared rambles, obviously stressed and confused by what is going on.
“Bree was never meant to be anything. She simply fell into my lap. I did what I had to do. I took her in return for a debt that was owed. She was my indebted, now it is I who is in debt to her.” I slam back the rest of the juice and wipe my mouth.
“So, she’s not yours, but you dragged her into this fucked up, sick, and twisted mess?” The thought of her no longer being mine has my blood boiling. Isn’t she still mine?
“Like I expected this shit to be so out of hand? Luccio was my family. Well, kind of. He took me in when I lost everything, but he put the knife in my back. I had no other option but to kill him. Like I told Bree, it is kill or be killed.”
Jared runs a hand through his hair, looking away from me and up at the ceiling as if he can’t believe the shit I have gotten into. It is fucked up, yes, but it is just the start to the war that is on the verge of coming.
“I’ve known you forever, Zerro. You always told me you had it under control. Now, you have a full on war with another family on your door step and a girl you don’t really know if you can trust or not.” He eyes me.
“She’s a farm girl. She was away at college, Jared. That’s cause to say she’s dangerous? She was simply paying a debt off that her father owed me,” I growl at him, my grip on the glass in my hand is tense, and I am afraid that if I don’t let it go soon, we will have glass shards all over.
Moving a couple steps forward, he laughs in my face, his expression telling me he doesn’t believe a fucking thing I am saying to him. When did I get off my game so much? When did I start allowing people to act like this?
“Zerro,“ he says my name as if he wants to say something else, so I stand there waiting for him to spit out whatever it is that he wants to say. “You’re right. She’s probably innocent, but that’s not the point. If she is, then you have dragged her into something that is dark and violent. She won’t be able to go back to college for a while, and her life has completely turned the fuck upside down.”
“You aren’t helping…” I mutter, a feeling of guilt washing over me. I am never guilty of doing anything. I have killed hundreds of people, but that woman in there has me feeling guilt. Guilt that is going to eat away at me every time I look at her beautiful face.
“I’m not trying to,” he retorts. My fist unclenches, releasing the glass onto the marble counter. It falls, breaking into a million pieces. The shards shatter in every direction, but I don’t even care as I bring my fist back down onto the counter.
“I won’t feel guilty for anything I did, Jared. It had to be done. I have killed countless….” I pause for a moment, looking him straight in the eyes. “Countless people. I have killed for no reason at all. I feel no remorse for any of it.”
“But you feel guilty for dragging her into this… Don’t you?” His voice is quiet, and I can barely hear him over the blood rushing in my ears. My heart is pumping at Mach speed, or at least it feels like it. Do I feel guilty for it? I have held a gun to her head and wrapped my hand around her delicate neck many times. Neither of those things make me feel guilty, though. Why? Because you know you will never kill her. The thought enters my mind without resistance. Have I known that I won’t kill her?
I can’t answer Jared even though I know the answer is deep inside of me. I have dragged someone who is in fact innocent into my shit hole. The very fact that he is right has me growing angrier.
“It’s not like I meant for any of this to happen…”
“You feel guilt though, don’t you?
I am avoiding his question. I don’t want to admit that I hate what I have pulled Bree into. I don’t want to admit that I have feelings for her. At least not aloud. Caring for someone just means another weakness. Caring for my parents has led me to believe that anyone you love will be ripped from you. Caring and loving just puts an X on your back; enemies will know how they can hurt you the most.
“You’re such a fucking hard ass…” Jared mutters, shaking his head in disbelief. “Just admit it. For the first time in your fucking life, you care about someone.”
“Just stop…” My muscles are taut with aggression. I feel the need to kill something or someone right away. Jared is starting to look really appealing on the ground in a puddle of blood…
“It’s not weakness to care for someone, Zerro. I can tell you right now that when I saw you on the ground, I thought the worst. Then there she was, standing there with a gun trembling in her hands ready to take anyone out who even looked at you the wrong way. She’s stronger than you give her credit for…”
My heart beat speeds up as it fills with adoration and something else—love? It can’t be. I don’t love anyone. Love isn’t even a word that I know how to say. Still, she saved my life, so I feel as though I am indebted to her. Most people would’ve left me there to fend for myself.
