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They were so close and it made his body feelalive. But then Ambrose, quick as a snake and twice as clever, hauled him down by the back of his neck. That mouth, that body, met his. The world fell away. And Barrett couldn’t imagine anything better than the taste, the scent, the feel of this man. He wanted to bottle it, douse himself in it, carry it around with him all day, every day.
“You are….very good at that,” Ambrose panted after untold moments folded against Barrett like he held up the world for them both. There’d been nothing hard or demanding about Ambrose’s kiss, but it had definitely made his head spin.
“Keep complimenting me. I won’t get sick of it.” A statement, a plea, a confession, all while something warm and soft swirled through him. Wanting someone, and wanting to be with someone, were two different things and yet with Ambrose, Barrett felt both. So deeply, tightly entwined that he couldn’t separate them if he tried. He didn’t want to.
“Problem is,” Ambrose said, leaning in again, “everything I’m thinking right now is particularly filthy.”
“In the middle of a field of wildflowers, when I just cracked myself open to you?” He let a smile play about his face, and saw it matched with one of Ambrose’s own. “Is this about the whole comment I made about myself?”
“That you’re a massive bear and people want to take you for a spin?”
“Yeah, that.”
Ambrose tilted his head, smile growing. “Is that all? That’s not nearly as filthy as I was expecting.” They were both trying so hard not to laugh and Barrett was shaking with the effort of holding back. “But if I must restrain myself…” Ambrose tipped his head up, the invitation clear. “You’re a fabulous kisser. Is that PG enough for you?”
“For now.” Barrett brushed his lips over Ambrose’s, let his fingers trail over that cut-glass jaw. Ambrose shivered in response and that yearning, aching thing in him rose up once more.
“So when do we get to meet him?”
“Forrest.”
“No, it’s okay, Val.” Barrett had to laugh at the earnestness in Forrest’s face and the smile on Val’s lips. “So I was gonna ask you about that, kiddo. Your mom says you’re doing better.”
“I am!”
“And, even more importantly, that you’ve been doing really well with school. So I thought we’d celebrate that.” He reached for the book sitting next to his elbow and held it up. “Apparently these are really popular with kids your age.”
ThesquealForrest let out could have cracked glass and yet, for Barrett, it was the best sound in the world. For the briefest moment, he saw his nephew again - whole and healthy and excited over the prospect of a gift from his uncle. It twisted up in his heart and the sadness he felt as he realized, again, that the kid would maybe never be the same. If this was how he felt, he could only imagine what Val was going through. They talked about it sometimes, when she was especially drained or stressed. She was in therapy, she was getting help. And yet Barrett felt disconnected from them both. Distance was one thing; he could easily drive to them, stay for a weekend, hang out. They had to be careful introducing new people and all their germs into the apartment, but it was doable.
Instead, he was making do with a virtual story time while Val worked on bills and paperwork in the background. He knew this arrangement was the best they all could do in the circumstances, but some little part of Barrett wondered if he really was doing everything he could to support his family.
Barrett hid his sigh and held the book up higher. “I’m glad I picked right. You ready to start?”
Forrest nodded, hugging a pillow tighter to his chest. His gaunt little face was still pale but there was life behind his eyes and a smile through cracked lips. Barrett saw Val shift in her chair and cast a glance at her son, her smile matching his.
“Okay, here we go.” Barrett flipped open the book,Greenleaf Galaxies, and began to read. The book was the first in a new series about a group of kids who travel from planet to planet, saving creatures and restoring habitats. He wasn’t sure about the title, but he was no book editor. To him, it read a lot like the books he grew up on, full of heroics and friendship, bravery and humor. Some of it was clearly aimed at kids Forrest’s age, but the author had done their homework on conservation efforts and managing diminishing species. He made a mental note to look them up later.
After chapter two, Barrett paused. Forrest was starting to nod off, his little head drooping. “Hey kid.”
“Yeah?” Forrest blinked at him and smiled once more.
“Probably time for a nap.”
“But the book!”
“The book will be there whenever you call your Uncle Bear, okay?” Val came into frame and put her hands on Forrest’s shoulders. “Maybe we can set up a schedule, yeah?”
“Yeah!” Forrest brightened, now sitting up straight in the padded rocking chair Val had prepared for him. “Can you read to me when you’re in the fire tower, Uncle Bear?”
Gods, where had spring gone? His tour in the FL was mere weeks away. He added that prep to his mental list. There was a significant amount of planning and packing to do. “I absolutely can do that. I should find a way to set up my tablet against the window where the sun sets.”
“Oooo! Yes, please!”
He couldn’t say no to his nephew. “Okay, you get some rest and make sure you eat when you’re hungry, all right?”
“He will,” Val said. She leaned down to better come into view and Barrett saw the dampness gathering at the corners of her eyes. “Now I’m not gonna do that thing where I cry, and then you cry, and it’s all over. Not happening. I’ve got too much to do. But we love you, Bear.”
“I love you!” Forrest chimed, but Barrett knew they both meant it with all of their hearts.
