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Claiming the seat next to her, Baldwin shifted to face her and found himself rendered speechless at the way the moonlight lit up her enchanting face, forcing him to recognize that he had never met a more beautiful woman than Miss Dowding.
He had a sudden desire to learn everything he could about her. Before he could stop himself, he said, “Tell me about your childhood.”
“I had a happy childhood,” she shared. “My mother made sure of that. Before I was sent to boarding school, we spent our days riding on our estate and visiting people in the village. We were always bringing a basket of food to someone in need.”
“Your mother sounds like a wonderful person.”
Miss Dowding grew silent. “She was,” she finally said. “I was lucky to have her for as long as I did.”
“Why do you say that?”
“We were in London when my mother grew sick, and the doctor recommended that we adjourn to the country for the fresh air,” Miss Dowding explained. “But, for the next four months, I watched my mother wither away.”
“That must have been hard.”
“It was, but it was harder on my mother.”
Baldwin looked at her curiously. “Why do you say that?”
“She hated being trapped in bed with her weak heart, and she hated that I had to care for her,” Miss Dowding shared. “She felt that she was a burden to me.”
“Was she?”
Miss Dowding huffed. “Heavens, no. Every moment I spent with my mother was a gift. But she couldn’t see that, and she grew more and more despondent.”
“That must have been hard to watch.”
Tears came to her eyes, but Miss Dowding blinked them back. “I tried to stop her…” Her words trailed off as her face paled.
“What did you try to stop?”
“Nothing,” she replied with a shake of her head. “Forget that I said anything.”
Baldwin leaned closer to her and said, “You can trust me, Miss Dowding.”
Miss Dowding dropped her gaze to her lap. “I do not wish to burden you with my shame,” she murmured.
Reaching over, he picked up her hand and brought it to his lips. As her hand hovered near his mouth, he said, “Nothing that you say will ever frighten me away from being your friend.”
“This might,” she said, her eyes filled with sadness. “I haven’t been able to speak of it with anyone else.”
“Not even Mrs. Foster?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“Then you must relieve yourself of your burden,” he said. “Let me help you.”
Uncertainty crossed her delicate features as she asserted, “You must promise not to tell another soul.”
“You have my word.” Baldwin lowered her hand, but he didn’t release it.
Miss Dowding glanced down at their entwined hands. “My mother was tired of being sick, and she told me that she intended to overdose on laudanum that evening.” She swallowed slowly. “I tried to talk her out of it, but she was adamant that it was time for her to die.”
“I am so sorry,” he said, knowing his words were wholly inadequate.
A tear rolled down her cheek, and Miss Dowding reached up to swipe it away. “I stayed with her the entire evening, and even after she was gone. What my mother did was incredibly selfish and…” Her words trailed off as it turned into a sob. “I just wasn’t ready to say goodbye.”
Baldwin had an overwhelming desire to pull Miss Dowding into his arms, but he knew it was not the place to do so. He didn’t dare put her into a compromising position, no matter how much he wished to console her.
