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“M-master H-Hill is blackmailing me to go back to the Feast with Madam Vik as my sponsor.”
Shaun’s steel-grey eyes swim with emotion as he takes in my words, so I glance down, not able to look at him as I tell him this next part.
“Part of my new rules is that I spend an hour every Feast withhim. A-alone.” I sob again, tears hot on my cheeks. “A-as his submissive.”
“Fuck. No, Kitten.”
My eyes dart back up to his, and I shake my head. “I have no choice. If I don’t go, he’s going to expose Skipper.”
“Shit.” Shaun hisses, cupping my face. “When did all this happen?”
“L-last night. He demanded that I go there. He had me put on some lingerie and go to the back door. I thought Madam Vik would be there, but she wasn’t. Just him and me, alone in that house.”
Shaun jerks back. “Did he hurt you?”
I shake my head, my eyes travelling back down as I remember the lap dance, my stomach turning over in disgust.
“What did he do?” Shaun demands, and I take a moment to compose myself before answering.
“He… made me give him a lap dance until he came in his pants.”
I gag.
Shaun shifts back, eyes wide, looking at me, and I gag again, knowing I’m about to lose the half piece of toast I had for breakfast.
Moving quickly, Shaun slides across the floor to the alcove opening and reaches around the corner to grab the bin, returning to me in time to catch the first wave of my vomit. Tears burst from my eyes as I retch and retch, my stomach muscles constricting with each action as my body fights to expel my darkness. It’s no use, though. I’m tainted. I’ll never be free of this. It’s embedded in me forever.
“Shit! Is she ok?” Simon’s voice registers, followed by Marcus’.
“Fuck, Rhee.” His scent wraps around me as I feel his hand rub my back, and slowly the retching eases.
I sink back into Marcus, puffing from overwhelming exhaustion, my eyes falling shut as it takes over.
“Are you gonna tell us what’s going on?” At Garrett’s voice, my eyes fly open, thinking he’s talking to me, but his eyes are trained on Shaun accusingly.
Shaun doesn’t respond but looks at me, so I save him.
“I’ll be ok once tomorrow is over.”
I want to say, and Sunday, but I can’t tell them about returning to the Feast. Going back feels like I’m cheating on them. I never thought I could be monogamous. I know it hardly seems monogamous when I’m fucking five different guys, but if they know and are happy to share me with each other, and they are the only ones I’m interested in spreading my legs for, that must count for something, right?
Garrett frowns at me, probably knowing I’m lying, so I admit to a little more.
“Also, I don’t know what’s happening with Ty, and it’s kinda messing with my head. I haven’t been able to see him or talk to him, and I feel…” Tears burst free again, and I need a moment to bite back my fucking sobs. “I feel like he’s going to end things with me.”
There. I got it out. It’s the truth. I do feel that way. I feel like things with him and I are over, and I’m just waiting around for him to confirm it. It's torture if I’m being honest with myself. Fucking torture.
Suddenly, I’m surrounded by four guys, engulfing my personal space on the floor in the alcove, arms and chests pressed against me in a cocoon of love.
“You don’t need that dirtbag, Rhee. You have us.” Marcus bites out, and Shaun snaps back at him.
“That’s not helping, dude. She fucking cares about him as much as she cares about each of us.”
A moment later, Marcus mutters an apology from behind me.
I want to say it’s ok, but I can’t talk right now. All I can do is feel.
We stay huddled together for a while before I reluctantly tell them I’m sweating. The guys back off, giving me space and air, and Garrett hands me a bottle of water to rinse my mouth out with.
