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“It wasn’t meant with malice, Kitten. Only my need to stop these fuckers from hurting you anymore.”
“It’s still a betrayal,” I whisper, sinking to the floor at the foot of my bed.
“Rhys. I had to bring it to Cynthia’s attention. I’m obligated to, as a teacher. Under Child Safety Laws, I have to speak up.”
“That’s funny. I didn’t realise Child Safety Laws allowed teachers to fuck their students.” I snap, wishing he could see the anger on my face. That is, until he stays silent.
Shit!
“Wait. I didn’t mean to say that.” I plead, wishing I could take it back.
“Yeah, you did.” He’s hurt, his voice sounding younger than his thirty-two years. “Look, I don’t regret telling your mum. She needed to know. You can be angry at me all you like. It doesn’t matter as long as you are kept safe from those fuckers.” He sighs. “I’m gonna go now, Kitten. You need some time to process everything, and I need to give you the space to do that. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
“Ok.” Even though I don’t want to end the call, I do. Right now, I feel like a child, and he feels like the complete opposite. I’ve never felt the age difference between us until this moment, and all it does is open my heart up to more pain because what if, after all we have been through, he’s just realising the same, and he changes his mind about being with me?
The need to feel love—or what my body has deemed as feeling love—takes over, and Kitty purrs aggressively. Part of me wishes I could slap her and tell her to back the fuck off and not be so fucking needy. Yet another part of me wants to appease Kitty. I could sneak out and go to see Shaun, Simon, or even Marcus. They know how to take my ache away. However, they’ll also see that I’ve been crying. Sense that something is wrong, and I’ll have to talk, which is the opposite of what I want to do.
My eyes find their way to my toy drawer. Maybe Big Jim can ease the fire, after all, I recognise this feeling for what it is. Stress. The need for release. I’ve used it as an excuse for so long to fuck random people, but I don’t want random anymore. I want my guys. All of them. Even Tyler.
I shake off the thoughts that lash at my heart when Tyler comes to mind and give in to my need. Dragging myself up off the floor, I walk over to the drawer in question. Pulling it open, I lift the towel that acts as a cover and reveal my magic wands. A small thrill washes over me at the sight of Big Jim. He’s a purple pleasure monster that makes me instantly think of Garrett.
I snatch him up, covering him in lube before moving over to my bed. With one hand, I slip my knickers off, leaving on my oversized Archer 9 t-shirt that Lexi got me from their concert, and I crawl up on my bed on my knees, staying in the kneeling position and spread my legs.
“Show me how you love me, Jimmy boy.” I grin and nudge him at my entrance. Pressing the button, Big Jim comes to life with a slow vibration, and I tease myself with his head, rubbing it through my folds, to my clit, and back to my entrance. Then, I ease him in.
It’s always a little hard at first, his girth a challenge, but one my hungry Kitty is willing to take. I love this part. The stretch. The overwhelming need to be filled. More and more.
My whole body flinches when Big Jim goes deep, sharp pain shooting through my centre, just like the other day with Marcus.
“Shit. No.” I hiss, desperate to move past that fucked up night at the Feast, as I draw Big Jim out a little and then push him back in. “Ouch!” I cry out a little too loudly, and I quickly rip the purple monster from my Kitty, turning him off and listening to see if anyone is coming to see if I’m ok.
After a beat of silence, I re-focus on my toy and pout. “Sorry, big fella. Tonight’s not your night.”
Frustrated, I stagger off my bed and over to my drawer. Little Jim and Peter Rabbit peer up at me, tempting me with their orgasmic promises. I’m gonna assume that if Big Jim hurts too much, Little Jim’s length will also be a problem, so I guess Peter Rabbit will have to do tonight.
Not a bad trade, really. Peter Rabbit can do things that Big Jim can’t, so I snatch my pink rabbit vibrator up and return to my bed, repeating the lubing process and laying back this time.
Turning the little gem on, I close my eyes and hold my breath.
God, I’ve never prayed before, but I am now.
Please let my vibe feel good. Please let me come.
Sliding Peter in, I instantly feel the tingles of pleasure only he can bring as he works his magic on my g-spot and clit at the same time. There’s no pain. Just building pleasure, and I relax back, grinning like a lusty freak, and run my hand under my t-shirt to pinch my nipple.
Oh yeah. That’s good.
“Fuck me, Peter,” I breathe softly.
“Who the fuck is Peter!”
I gasp, sitting up in search of Marcus. Where the fuck is he? I just heard his voice.
“Marcus?”
“I thought you said there are only the five of us, Rhee!” He hisses, and I dart my head down to my side to see my phone peeking out from under my arse.
Oh my god!
