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“Oh, you think there is no payment? Nothing I ask in return?”
My heart thudded at her answer, both sent through the link in waves and cawed in pleasure.
“What do you want from me? What do you need?”
“Embrace your fire. Embrace your wings. Why have you not taken flight in a long time? Erishkigal is no longer here. I want to see if you can still fly.”
“Does flying answer anything? A question lingering in your mind?”
“Yes.”
“What? I need to know before I make an attempt,” I said. Unlike my brother Samuel, I still needed to shed my clothes to shift. I wished that I were in Shadowcreek when the shifters strongly associated with my brother became in control of their transformations. “Is it safe to strip here?”
The three nodded. Yes, including the bird. It bent its chin, pressing it almost to its breast.
“I still need an answer.”
“Your Majesty, Erishkigal’s death has created a void. We filled some of it, but some it still yawned. The Ninurta of Arrowspear seemed to have noticed the imbalance. She was a great power. Old. Hungry and desperate. The three of us are not as strong. The Ninurta might have felt it and started taking from Mogochislenia. Power. Moisture. Whatever it could eat. But somehow, you are untouched. Why? I want to see if everything has indeed been untouched.”
“What does it mean then if my powers are untouched?”
“It means that you still have the mark of Erishkigal. Do you know that your brother only shifts because he is now more Protean than wolf? Your sister Carolina is too far for us to assess.”
“Then, there is me,” I sighed, but I started to strip, anyway.
My dress pooled around my feet. My chemise followed. I needed to be able to wear them when I returned to the ground.
My whole body tensed, preparing for its painful transformation. I usually held on to all my pain, my frustration, for me to ignite. I thought of years of loneliness. Then, I thought of Metheus. His pain. His loss. Then, my body seemed to crumple into itself. It was like a heart that clenches into itself, breaking every part of it to become a different kind of life and form.
Then, I soared.
I flew. Wings spread out and on fire. I went further up, careful not to raze the ground as I struggled to steady my emotions.
It seemed that when Erishkigal’s candle melted, she left me behind. Wax on a cool table. With the wick not too far gone. I still had the power to be gathered and create more flame.
