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It might be considered a little bold of her, but she continued at his side with her hand in Mr. Alcott’s elbow. He hadn’t really invited her presence, but she was going to give it to him anyway and hope he didn’t notice that no one knew where Daisy might be.
“So, tell me about Alcott,” she invited again.
“Surely you don’t really want to hear about an old country estate after you’ve had the opportunity to see all there has been to see wherever you’ve been,” Florent protested, accepting her arm with a smile and a pat and allowing her to steer them toward the front receiving room. “I ought to be prompting you to tell me all about your travels.”
“Well, that might be far more boring, I’m afraid.”
“Never say so. I’ve been fantasizing for years about travelling the world. Don’t dash my imaginings with telling me you didn’t enjoy them.”
Constance smiled but lifted one of her shoulders with an awkward expression. “Fine then, I won’t tell you,” She added with a laugh, “No, I cannot honestly say it hasn’t been lovely. I have found it wonderful to visit all the places we often only get a chance to read about. And many more I had never even heard of before. It would be disingenuous of me to claim otherwise. But I suppose one is always fascinated with what we don’t know. I don’t know what it’s like to live on a country estate, especially not as a man who gets to run it. I think there would be a steadiness in that which I find sorely lacking in my travels.”
Florent kept walking at a steady pace and continued to keep his left hand over hers where it rested in the crook of his elbow. Constance thought he had done it out of habit. Perhaps his mother or sisters walked with him like that. But she found a slight thrill from it anyway. It made her feel safe and cherished in a way she’d never felt before. And a little thrill shot through her that wasn’t exactly comfort. She tried to ignore the sensations since it was most likely not real in the first place. She noticed he also had an expression of concentration on his face as though he were pondering what she had just said.
“I think you might have just settled upon what causes most people’s restlessness. What others have is always better than what you have until you get it for yourself. I guess that is why one ought to cultivate contentment. Otherwise, you’ll always be chasing after what you don’t have.”
Constance couldn’t quite agree. “Or you need to realize quickly enough that what you thought you wanted isn’t actually for you.”
“But some things are rather too permanent for changing your mind, wouldn’t you say?”
Constance tilted her head in question, and he continued.
“For example, if you had wed when you first made your debut rather than deciding to start travelling when you received your inheritance, wouldn’t you have always wondered? If you were married and started having children, you wouldn’t be able to traipse all about the continent.”
“It’s not so very difficult to travel, even with children, in my opinion,” Constance protested.
“A gentleman with lands and crops and tenants might not feel the same way.”
Constance wanted to stare at Mr. Alcott to try to read his feelings behind his statement. She heard so many conflicting emotions in his tone as he made that last statement. Did he regret his choices? Was he envious of hers? Or censorious? It was terribly hard to tell. She rather thought it was all those feelings rolled together. Poor man. But she could somewhat relate. She had extremely mixed feelings about her own life choices. She tried not to sigh. She couldn’t seem to escape those unhelpful thoughts.
Perhaps she just needed to decide on somewhere even more adventurous to travel to rather than settling down in her longed for cottage. Travel on the continent was so common today, there was no longer anything eccentric about it. Perhaps she ought to travel in the other direction next time. The New World would be a better destination for her. She almost wrinkled her nose at the thought. America seemed rather too traitorous to her but from what she had heard of the Canadas, they were even further from civilized. And the travel to Botany Bay just might kill her. Months on a boat would be primitive and uncomfortable no matter how deep your pockets might be.
She needed to turn the topic and think of her own pursuits later.
“If you didn’t have your lands and crops and such to be concerned about, where would you like to travel?”
She smiled as he tried to sputter that he hadn’t meant himself in his comments, but Connie knew he didn’t really mean it. Finally, he simmered down and thought the matter through.
“A part of me is captivated with the thought of any of the colonies. It must be fascinating to see people starting new lives completely from nothing. I’ve read tales of men buying a tract of land and needing to fell the trees necessary to build their houses, then clear the land for crops and animals. I cannot imagine the amount of work that would be required but the sense of accomplishment if one succeeded must make it all worthwhile.”
Constance nodded. “I wonder how many actually succeed, though.”
“What do you mean?”
“As you said, the amount of work seems unimaginable to me. What do they do for food in the interim? When they cannot plant anything to feed themselves or their animals. And how far from a merchant would you be if it is a completely and thoroughly undeveloped piece of land? It would be difficult to even purchase the food you might need. And where do you live while you’re felling the trees?” Constance suppressed a shudder. While she needed to figure out what else to do with herself, she knew that wasn’t going to be it.
To her surprise, though, Florent laughed. “I see your point and cannot disagree. But you might note I didn’t say I actually wanted to do those things. I have no intention of throwing off my inheritance to run away to the colonies. But I would like to witness it, I think. To see what people have accomplished and how. Perhaps speak with them. That would be fascinating, wouldn’t you think?”
“I do think it would be, yes. Perhaps I will head West instead of East on my next foray of travelling.”
Florent’s hand tightened slightly where it was still settled over hers in the crook of his arm. “Does your family not worry over you? I am surprised they allow you such free rein.”
She was now certain she could hear censure in his tone. Constance almost pulled her hand out of his but it felt so lovely in his warm grasp she couldn’t quite bring herself to do it. He must have sensed her disquiet, though as he patted her hand gently before settling once more. “I suppose I just insulted you, didn’t I?” Florent asked with a low chuckle. “I do apologize, my lady. That was certainly not my intention. But thinking about my own sister, I don’t suppose denying her would have any effect especially if she had the means to accomplish her aims as I’ve heard you do. But surely, they must worry immensely about you. All the more if you were to begin ocean travel.”
“Yes, I imagine there must be a little more risk in ocean travel than what I have been doing, but I cannot say that my family troubles themselves terribly over me. It seemed to be a relief to them when I was no longer on their hands on a daily basis. Now they can comfortably shake their heads about my choices without needing to actually bestir themselves.”
From the corner of her eye, Constance could see that Florent had started to frown. Her words were not sitting comfortably with him.
“That cannot possibly be true,” Mr. Alcott said, shaking his head.
