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ZEKE: I’m painting TiFo for the Seattle vs. Woodsmen game
FAYE: There are so many questions I have—don’t distract me
ZEKE: What’s the debate?
FAYE: Who on the Ptarmigans has the biggest dick
FAYE: O. M. G.
FAYE: Sarah gets handsy when she’s halfway to the bottom of that bottomless mimosa bar
FAYE: Sorry about that
ZEKE: No worries
ZEKE: For the record, it’s me. No contest.
* * *
7/31 9:23 PM
FAYE: Want to go to a hippie wedding in a couple weeks?
ZEKE: With you?
FAYE: Yeah. Of course.
ZEKE: Yes.
FAYE: But did you see the part where I said it was a hippie wedding?
ZEKE: Yeah, I got it. Is there a dress code?
FAYE: I don’t know. Outdoor wedding in August?
ZEKE: What time should I pick you up?
28
zeke
I fucking hate peacocks.
Almost as much as I hate dirt roads. I’ve driven my fair share of them, having spent the better part of my prep years driving backroads before sun up to avoid speed traps set to catch hockey players running late to tournaments. Even the more well-maintained ones made me queasy with their washboard ridges. And then there was the dirt that snuck its way into the exhaust system. So now, I’m feeling sick, irritated, and my throat itches while my clothes get covered in dust. But it’s one of those August days when it’s too damn hot to turn off the A/C and the last thing I want is to be a stinky, sweaty mess.
I don’t know exactly where I stand with Faye, but she asked me to come to this wedding. So, I’m driving down this shitty road, avoiding sharp drop offs into Tolkien’s wet dream of a forest, watching out for deer and bunnies and hobbits.
I wasn’t watching for fucking peacocks.
Fortunately, a fairy runs out of the woods and shoos the damn thing away. But it’s not happy about it. It hisses and gargles and then the fairy waves me forward.
I rub my eyes, squinting at the creature with shimmery wings and pointed ears. She waves me on, as if I missed it the first time and then motions for me to roll down the window.
“Welcome! Are you here for Eoin and Willow’s nuptials?”
I blink again, watching the peacock run back across the road.
“Uh,” I start, and she laughs as my eyes catch on her ears.
