AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Why did you do that?” Her voice is low, gentle. “You and I both know you can get it anytime you want. You’re more than competent. You don’t have to pay for it.”
I let out a shaky chuckle. This is it. I’ve never actually said it out loud. Not for real.
“I couldn’t do it to someone else. What I did to you. When I paid for it, there was no chance that anyone would change their mind and want a relationship. There was no talk about having children. There was no chance I would get someone I cared about pregnant and ruin her life.”
She’s quiet. Too quiet. Then I hear a sniffle.
“Is that what you think? That you ruined my life?”
I swallow hard. My nose runs and I wipe at it with the back of my hand. We haven’t talked about this since it happened. Since I picked her up off the bathroom floor and carried her to the car, and drove like a madman to the ER, begging them to do something to wake her up again.
“You wanted to die.”
“Yeah,” she says softly. She sniffles. “But you wouldn’t let me.”
“I did what anyone would.”
“No, you did whatyouwould do. And you didn’t stop until you thought I was whole.”
I frown. Shaking my head, I don’t understand.
“I couldn’t fix it. I broke everything.”
“You didn’t,” she says. “We were young and stupid and horny as fuck.”
I laugh and she does too.
“That’s what happened. We were too young to realize that just because we were friends who could make each other come, we didn’t have to get married.”
“That was one hell of a wedding though.”
“It was my favorite wedding I’ve ever attended.”
“Does Julian know that?” I ask.
“Totally different. But also, he was there. Remember?”
I chuckle at that, and she does as well.
“Honestly, I think he’d say something sappy, but then he’d agree. Our wedding was the most fun I’ve ever had at a wedding. It was all our friends. Everyone got drunk—I got drunk on the love I felt from everyone there—and we had a hell of a party.”
“It really was.”
I frown, the sadness seeping in. Realizing I want to have another one of those, to feel that day in a different way, with someone I really truly love.
“Fuck,” I say.
“You love her?”
“Yeah.”
“She know that?”
I shake my head.
“Oh, Deke,” she says as if she knows.
“She doesn’t want to see me.”
