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“Derek?” The curtains are drawn and it’s dark in the room, so it’s hard to tell what time it is. But I can’t imagine he would’ve stayed if it was that long. And yet, I feel so much better, so rested.
“What time is it?” I ask.
She tilts her watch and says, “Quarter past eight.”
“At night?”
“Yes, love,” she says with a smile. She takes back the cuff and marks down something on her chart. “Can you tell me the first day of your last menstrual cycle?”
I narrow my eyes, thinking back. With being on the pill, my cycles are much lighter, and since I’ve been sick I can’t remember having had one. But I know I would have marked it down in the app on my phone.
“I don’t know, but I can check my phone,” I say. I nod toward my purse that’s hanging on a hook on the back of the door. She gets it and passes it to me. But when I dig through it, my phone isn’t there.
Just then there’s a knock at the door. “Oh, perfect timing!”
I frown as she opens the door and a machine rolls into the room followed by a smiling woman dressed in yellow scrubs.
“Your doctor will be here soon, but Amelia here will get you started,” the nurse says.
“Hi there,” Amelia in the yellow scrubs says.
“Hi,” I say, staring at the screen and the wand Amelia is holding. I’ve seen this before, maybe on TV, but it’s not coming together. I can’t make sense of it.
“What is this?” I ask.
Amelia looks at the nurse and they share a little smile.
“The doctor has ordered an ultrasound. I’m your tech. Nothing to be nervous about,” Amelia says.
“An ultrasound?” I ask.
“Hey,” Derek says. He walks into the room at that exact moment, double-fisting disposable coffee cups. His cheeks are pink, as if he just got some fresh air, his thick hair windblown. “I got you a decaf mocha. I figured something sweet? But I could go back for a peppermint tea if sweet doesn’t sound good.”
“Thanks,” I say, feeling hungry enough to drink it. Which is a first in weeks.
“Maybe it can wait just a few minutes?” Amelia says.
“Oh, right,” Derek says, as if he knows exactly what’s happening. He doesn’t meet my eyes, and there’s something resigned in the expression he wears.
“You ready?” Amelia says, her expression bright and cheerful.
“Sure,” I say, not sure what is happening.
Derek folds his hand around mine, and only then do I realize it’s shaking, as if my hand knows what is happening, what is unfolding before me.
“It’s okay, princess,” he says, pressing a kiss into the palm of my hand and then folding his hands around mine, pressing my knuckles against his closed mouth.
Amelia pushes up the hospital gown and squirts some gel on my skin. I flinch and Derek smiles.
“Cold, right?” he asks.
“Sounds like you’ve done this before, dad?” Amelia asks.
He gives her what almost looks like a grim nod. But something sticks in my brain.
“Dad?” I ask him.
His blue eyes meet mine, thick with such deep sadness that I have to swallow hard. But then a noise fills the room. It’s quick, like the flutter of hummingbird wings. And we both look at the screen.
