AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I feel like I’m messing everything up.”
“You’re not,” he says, placing his hand over mine. His touch is rough, but warm.
It makes me want to curl up into him and cry into his chest. Even if it does feel different with Derek, we haven’t had enough time. I need time. I need more information. I need… something. A sign. Or somethingmore.
“This is so much harder than I thought it would be.”
“Yeah,” he says. “It’s just going to be a little awkward until we figure it out.”
I nod. “It was so easy there for a little bit,” I say with an embarrassed laugh. He doesn’t respond and my cheeks flame with embarrassment.
“It was more than easy,” he says, his voice low.
I look up, meeting his intense, penetrating gaze. Heat pools in my core.
“Yeah,” I say, breathless.
“I guess it’s a good thing we’re taking it slow.”
“Yeah,” he says, clearing his throat again. But he doesn’t look like he agrees with me. At all.
I’m not sure how I feel about it either, to be honest.
CHAPTER18
DEREK
The past coupleof weeks have flown by. I’ve been busy with work, as well as a last-minute flight to El Paso to sign a recruit. It’s been enough to keep my mind from fixating on the fact that Megan is still not feeling one hundred percent, and the longest I could ever keep Deanna pregnant was fourteen weeks.
I try not to think about this as I tap my fingers along to the beat of a Killers song Megan turned on as I drive her to her appointment. She wanted to meet me there, but she doesn’t have a car and I didn’t want her having to rely on public transportation for something this important. When I told her that, she just laughed.
I also don’t mind picking her up. My car smells like vanilla and something floral today, likely whatever flowers she’s plucked from the neighbor’s garden this week.
I valet the car instead of parking in the garage and making her ride the tram up. It might seem a little overkill, but I’m not chancing anything. Damn if I know what I’m doing here. But when she squeezes my hand in the waiting room and nods toward the smiling nurse, the noise in my head dissipates.
I follow her into a small, light-filled room, where the nurse leaves her with a hospital gown and gives her some instructions. I give her some privacy, turning my back to her and staring out the window at the skyline. Summer weather has nudged into the valley, setting every hillside afire in dogwoods and roses.
“I’m decent,” she says, softly behind me.
I turn and she’s sitting on the table, her bare feet dangling. She’s so strong, sometimes I forget how petite she really is.
“How are you feeling?” I ask.
She cocks her head and an odd smile tilts across her slightly crooked teeth.
“What?” I ask.
“You don’t remember asking me that three times already?”
“Oh,” I say, squeezing the back of my neck. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine, Derek,” she says. “Everything okay?”
I nod, forcing a smile. There’s no reason to level her with my fears. That this might not go well. That it might make her feel things that I can’t control, that I can’t help her out of. That it might make her do things—
“Hello, hello?” The doctor peeks her head in and I breathe a sigh of relief.
She has dark, curly hair and apple cheeks offset by kind eyes. She introduces herself and goes through a slew of questions with Megan. Then she asks questions about our genetic concerns and Megan defers to me. I tell her the same things I told Megan. About how I’m a carrier of Trisomy 18 and an unknown chromosomal abnormality that my ex-wife was also a carrier for. The doctor took notes and then prepared for a blood draw.
