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“Maybe if I wait until the kid is old enough to talk, then he can just tell her?”
“He?” she says, grinning.
I press my hand to my belly.
“Just a gut feeling,” I say.
“So, what’s the hold up right now?”
“Right now?” I ask, pointing at my phone and the tea kettle.
“Yeah.”
“Well, I’m waiting for the water to boil.”
“You know what they say about a watched pot.”
“But this is a kettle.”
“You know what they say about the kettle.”
“I don’t think that saying applies,” I say.
“It won’t whistle. That’s too hot.” She shakes her head as if I don’t know her at all. “Just pick up the phone, dial her number and say ‘Mom, I have news. I’m having a baby and I’m excited. How are you?’”
I arch an eyebrow at my roommate who is definitely brushing over some of the subtleties of the situation. But she holds out her hand for me to give her my phone, and I do. She finds the number, starts the call, and puts it on speaker. Then holds the phone with the microphone facing in my direction.
There are so many things that could happen on this call. So many reasons to take it off speakerphone before it ever starts. But for some reason, I don’t. And so Ainsley hears the whole thing.
“‘Lo?” Momma’s scratchy voice comes through.
“Hi—hey. Hey Momma.” I clear my throat. “It’s me.” There’s a loud noise in the background and something that sounds like moaning.
Ainsley’s eyes go wide as I press my lips together, embarrassed.
“Will you shut the fuck up?” she yells away from the phone. Then she coughs, a horrible hacking sound.
“Momma? Is this a bad time?” I ask.
“Megsy? That you?” she asks. As if it could be one of her other nonexistent children.
“Yeah, it’s me. Hi! How are you?”
“What do you want?” Her words are sharp and concise.
“Oh, um. If this is a bad time, I can—”
“Just spit it out,” she says. She has a short temper today. Fantastic.
“Oh. Okay. Well, I have some news.”
“I already heard you got canned at the titty bar.”
My throat goes dry.
“Oh.”
“Is that what you called for? I’m not giving you any money, if that’s what you called for. You made your bed and all.” She starts laughing, but it turns into a hacking cough.
