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But she lifts her palm and gives me another easy smile. “No pressure. I just realized, after I ran into you two a couple months ago, that I missed you.”
I frown, and she laughs, shaking her head.
“How do I say this without freaking you out?”
“Start by not saying ‘how do I say this without freaking you out,’” I say.
She laughs and nods. “Good point. No, all I mean is… well, for lack of a better word, weworkedtogether for a long time. Pretty consistently.”
“We did,” I say.
“And then your situation changed. And I never got to say goodbye.”
I shift uncomfortably in my chair. “I’m sorry.”
She smiles and shakes her head. “You don’t need to apologize. It’s just… well, call me sentimental, but I come to care about… the people I work with. I find myself rooting for them. I’m glad I ran into you. I just wanted to tell you I’m happy for you and that I wish you the best.”
I feel like a dick. What she’s saying is so simple. So straightforward. But also, I know nothing about her life. I never asked her. I’ve been inside her in every way a man can be inside a woman, and I know nothing about her other than the sounds she made with me.
“Thank you,” I say. “I wish you the best too.”
“Are you excited?” she asks, sipping her coffee. “After all this time, for the pregnancy to still be going well? It must be such a relief.”
I stare at her. I forgot that I would have told her about that. But of course I did. I never wanted to take any chances on getting her pregnant.
“It does,” I say, clearing my throat.
But then there’s nothing more to say. Because I’m not actually happy. I don’t think I’m making Megan happy at present either. Fuck, I’ve messed things up. And I don’t know how to fix the mess. I take a breath, ready to unload on this woman.
“Coach Carroll?” I turn and see my boss, our athletic director, standing next to our table with his own large coffee.
“Michael,” I say, standing and offering my hand. He shakes it and his eyes flick between me and Karlie.
“I don’t mean to interrupt,” Michael says.
“I was just heading out,” Karlie says, rising to her feet. “Give Megan a big hug?”
I nod, and she pats me on the shoulder. Michael watches her walk away in a way that makes me a little uncomfortable.
“Are you heading back to campus?” I ask, changing the conversation.
“I was about to, but I could use… do you want to sit for a minute?” He motions to the table I was just sitting at, and I shrug.
“I’m glad I caught you off campus,” he says.
Everything goes still. I can sense him getting ready to tell me something that’s going to ruin everything.
“I’ve heard some rumblings. They seem to think your program is caught up in this mess.”
“Not as far as I know—”
“I’m just giving you a warning, as a courtesy. But now that I’ve gotten the heads up, they’ll probably move quickly. If you tell me you don’t know anything about it, I’ll back you. But if there’s anything that’s not where it should be, now might be a good time to do a little housekeeping.”
I nod. He stands. There’s nothing left to say.
“Are you heading back to campus?” he asks.
I shake my head. “No, not right now.”
