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Chapter 3
Summer 1995
Willow
By the time I got home last night, I was tipsy and bordering on drunk. My parents had left not long after the engagement announcement, and Mr. Bradshaw had assured them he’d get me home safely. Russ walked me home, and I stumbled into my room, and flopped across the bed still fully clothed. The anger had subsided at that point, and now the tears were flowing freely.
When I woke up this morning, my mascara from the night before was smeared around my eyes, and my lip gloss had almost glued my lips together. I looked like a raccoon on acid, whatever that may be. I stripped out of my clothes, took a shower, and was now curled on my bed listening to depressing love songs on repeat. I know I shouldn’t be this upset, we weren’t even a couple, but part of me always thought there was a chance. He smiled at me. He acted like he saw me, and not some little girl. The fact that he really hadn’t hurt worse than any breakup would.
“We’re going to play minigolf, are you coming?” Mom knocked softly on my door.
“No.” I rolled away, hoping she wouldn’t see my red eyes and runny nose.
“Did something happen last night?” She moved closer into my room. “Did Russell do something?”
“No.” I sighed. “I just want to be alone.” I rubbed my eyes.
“Is this about a boy?” When I didn’t answer, she decided to sit down on my bed. “Honey, I know you don’t believe this right now, but there will be a bunch of boys. This isn’t the end of the world. Whoever he is, he isn’t the right one.” She patted my leg before standing to leave. “If you change your mind, we’re just going to the one by the arcade.”
“I’m fine.” I stared at the wall. I know she meant well, but basically telling me to get over it wasn’t what I needed to hear.
I spent most of the day wallowing in self-pity before I finally decided that I wasn’t going to let Casey Bradshaw ruin my summer vacation.
ooooooooo
Late in the afternoon, I decided to go down to the beach. I grabbed my Discman, and headphones before packing a towel and some snacks in a bag. It was low tide, so I had my choice of where I wanted to sit. After picking a spot where I would get direct sun, I laid down, put on my headphones, and closed my eyes. The warm sun felt great, and I soon drifted off.
I don’t know how long I was asleep, but I was awakened rather rudely. Just as Casey and I were about to kiss in my dream, I was pelted with cold water droplets. My eyes flew open, and Russ was standing over me. “You leave tomorrow,” he stated. “Come swimming.” His hands were on his hips, and his hair was sticking up from where he ran his fingers through it.
“I was relaxing.” I scowled as I propped myself up on my elbows.
“You were being lame.” He shook his head. “What happened to you this year? You used to be fun.” He stepped to the side, flopped down in the sand, and rested his arms on his bent knees. “It’s like school broke you or something.”
“I’m not broken, I’m just not a kid anymore.” We stared out at the crashing waves. “You’ve changed too,” I muttered.
“No, I haven’t. I’m the same person I’ve always been. I just lost my partner in crime.” He shrugged.
“We all have to grow up some time,” I mumbled. “I’m the same person. I’m just stuck.” I gritted my teeth.
“Stuck?” He looked at me as if I’d grown an extra head or something.
“Yeah, stuck. I’m not a little kid. I’m not an adult. I’m stuck in the middle, and whatever I am, is not what everyone wants.” I watched the waves lap up on the sand, and then get pulled back into the ocean.
“I get that. Sometimes I feel stuck too.” He sighed. “But you know what?” He nudged my ribs. “I remind myself that I’m not an adult yet. I have the rest of my life to be an adult. Right now, I’m going to enjoy being stuck.” He stood and grabbed my hand, pulling me up in the process. Without letting go, he started racing to the water.
When we reached the shallow surf, the cold water made me squeal, but the look on Russ’s face was enough to make me keep going. We splashed each other, and played like we did when we were little. It was the first time all week that I wasn’t worried about what Casey might think. I liked Russ’s view on things, and as we laughed together, I promised myself I’d be more like him, and less stuck.
ooooooooo
“Why do we have to leave today?” Jack whined from where he was packing his bag. “We own the place. We could live here all summer.”
“Because renters help pay for the place so we can own it,” I grumbled. I’d tried this argument with Mom many years ago. I gave up after hearing that line over and over. “And your father has to work,” Mom chimed in.
“So let him go home and come back next week to get us.” Jack dragged his bag out to the family room.
“Nice try.” Dad patted his head, and Jack gave up.
Mom was cleaning the kitchen, and I grabbed the vacuum, attempting to clean the floors. Do you know how hard it is to get sand out of shag carpet? There’s a reason all the new houses have tile floors.
