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“Julio’s is my favorite Mexican restaurant,” she said. “I hope you like your fajitas.”
“It’s Mexican food. I’m guaranteed to like it.”
Zoe dipped another chip into the salsa. A tiny bit of salsa flew off the chip as she brought it to her mouth, and she clenched her teeth. Ate the chip, then wiped up the spilled salsa with a napkin.
Spence touched the back of her hand. “It’s completely normal to be freaked out by what’s happening right now,” he said. “Don’t make it into a big deal.” He took a bite of his fajita. After he swallowed it, he said, “There have been lots of times on missions when none of us could eat without spilling the MRE all over ourselves.” He smiled, and her belly quivered. “You’re not special.”
She took another small sip of wine, then tried another bite of food. She managed to get it into her mouth without any droppage.
“After we’re finished eating, I’ll change the lock for you,” Spence said. “No lock is infallible, but Davies can’t use a lockpick on this one because it has a keypad instead of a slot for a key. And the keypad only allows a certain number of attempts before it locks down.” He reached across the table and gripped Zoe’s ice-cold hand. Rubbed it between his own hands to warm it up. “The doorman promised that he’d keep the key to your elevator locked up at all times. So you should be safe here.”
“I don’t want to hide in my condo,” Zoe said.
“You won’t be. We’ll go to your office every day. We’ll be here every night. But no hot dates for you, I’m afraid,” he said, and smirked.
“Hot dates are not on the table,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“Glad you understand that,” Spence said, leaning back in his chair. “It won’t be forever. Just until Davies is caught.”
Zoe shook her head. “Not what I meant. I don’t do the whole emotional thing with guys, so no dates isn’t exactly a hardship.”
Spence tilted his head as he studied her. “No messy emotions, huh? Why not?” he asked, studying her.
She lifted one shoulder. Looked at the refrigerator behind him instead of directly at him. “A lot of reasons,” she said with a shrug. “I’m too busy to get involved in a hot and heavy romance. Too… too leery of strong emotions.” She looked down at her hands, which were clenched into fists, and slid them into her lap. “Especially now, with Ethan back in my life. I can’t take any chances that he’ll focus on a guy I’m dating.”
“He hasn’t been around for the past thirteen years.” Spence leaned across the table. She wished he’d touch her, but that was probably a bad idea right now. She was too vulnerable. Too unsettled. “Surely you haven’t been on a dating sabbatical for all this time.”
She shrugged. “No. I date. I go out with guys. Have a good time with them. But not long term.”
“So you have one night stands?” he asked. He raised his hands. “No judgment.”
She hadn’t heard any in his voice. “No. I don’t pick up guys in bars.” Her gaze flickered to him, then away. “I’ll date a guy for a month or two. But that’s about it. There’s always an expiration date.”
Spence leaned back in his chair. “Sounds like a lonely way to live,” he said.
She frowned at him. “How about you, Spence? How many long-term relationships have you had?”
“One,” he said quietly. “A long time ago.”
“What happened?” She reached across the table for his hand. He tried to draw away from her, but she tightened her grip on him.
“Please tell me,” she said quietly.
He stared at their joined hands instead of looking at her, and she saw regret, sorrow and anguish in his expression. “It was during SEAL training,” he said quietly. “I got involved with a woman, maybe even fell in love with her, and I’m pretty sure she was in love with me. Marissa. She died.”
She tightened her grip on him. “What happened?”
“There were three couples besides us, and we were all swimming in the ocean. Having fun. Goofing around. I was talking to one of the other guys, and when I looked for Marissa, she wasn’t there. All of us dived down to look for her, but the water was murky. We’d churned up lots of sand. By the time we found her, it was too late. She’d gotten caught in a riptide and tangled in seaweed. She drowned.”
He took a deep, shuddering breath. “I was training to be a SEAL. We all had to be strong swimmers. But none of that training helped.”
She reached across the table and gripped his hand. “That’s awful, Spence, but it wasn’t your fault.”
“How could it not be?” he said. “I was a SEAL trainee. Supposed to be invincible in the water. And the woman I thought I loved drowned thirty feet away from me, in six feet of water.”
