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“This is tough,” she said. “Spending all this time together. Living in the same place.” She held up her hand when he opened his mouth to speak. “I know you need to stay here. I know neither of us has a choice. It’s hard for me to be cooped up with you, as well. But we’re both adults. We’ll be fine.” She stood up. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
She walked past him, and he grabbed her hand. Without thinking, she curled her fingers around his. Held on.
She wanted to touch him. More than anything else right now. But the longer they stood close together, his palm pressed against hers, the harder it would be to let him go.
She clung for another long moment, then eased her hand away. “I don’t think I should be holding your hand right now, Spence.” She tried to smile and figured she’d probably failed. “Too dangerous.”
He could have let her go. Should have let her go. Instead, he moved to block her path. “Zoe. Wait. What I said came out… came out meaner than I meant it to be. Let me explain.”
“No explanation necessary,” she said, forcing herself to meet his eyes. Giving him nothing, because she couldn’t allow herself to reveal any weakness. “I get it.”
“Damn it, Zoe!” He began to reach for her, then let his hands drop. “Don’t give me that thousand-yard stare you gave Ron the other day. You’re not the CEO right now. You’re just Zoe. The woman I want and can’t have.”
She knew he was as frustrated as she was. Knew this was a situation that neither one of them wanted. She also knew he’d hate himself in the morning if they did anything besides say good night to each other. His strict code of conduct wouldn’t allow him to jeopardize her safety in any way.
Which was admirable. Frustrating as hell. And it sucked.
“I’m sorry, Zoe,” he said. “I shouldn’t have said that. It slipped out. Frustration. That’s all.” He reached slowly for her hand, as if he were afraid she’d snatch it away from him. His fingers curled around hers, warm and slightly rough. Reassuring. Comforting. “The truth is, you overwhelm me. Make me forget about everything else when you look at me. I forget my name when you touch me. And I need to focus on my plan. What I’m going to do this week. Next weekend at the conference.
“It’s not because I don’t want you, Zoe,” he said, and his voice sounded thick. He scrubbed his free hand over his face, and his stubble rasped against his palm. “If you don’t believe anything else, at least believe that.”
She sighed and stared down at his hand holding hers. It seemed… right to hold his hand. Right to be connected to him.
And what was this all about, anyway? She’d never been possessive of the men she was with. Never snapped at them for something they’d said. Their words just rolled off her back. If they wanted to leave, she said goodbye. Watched them walk out the door, then put them out of her mind.
It wasn’t like that with Spence.
She stared at his thumb, caressing her palm. Spence was different. None of those other men had the power to hurt her, because she hadn’t cared enough about them. But Spence? He was different. Any wounds he inflicted would cut deep. Hurt like hell. Because she cared about him. She had a connection with Spence. A bond. And it would hurt a lot when he left.
Spence was in self-preservation mode right now. Maybe she needed to be in that mode, too. Protect her heart against the day Spence would leave.
A tiny voice whispered that it was already too late. Spence had wormed his way into a place no one had ever been before.
He wasn’t responsible for that. She was.
“Look,” she said. “We have to get through these next few days together. I can act like an adult. Behave myself. Even if I don’t want to.”
His mouth twitched. “I’m pretty sure I can act like an adult, too,” he said. He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed her palm. His lips lingered for a long moment, then he let her go.
“I’m sorry for what I said. It was… it was mean. Uncalled for. I know this is tough on you, too.” He began to reach for her, then shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans instead. “Losing my temper, yelling at you isn’t helping anything.”
“If it makes things easier, I’ll keep it strictly work from now on. We’ll go to the office and come home. Or we can both work from home all week.”
His gaze flickered when she mentioned ‘home’ as if it were both of their homes. For a long moment, she imagined what that would be like. It would be amazing.
But that wasn’t going to happen.
The lump in her stomach turned into a stone, pressing on her chest. Making it hard to breathe.
He held her gaze as if he was considering staying in her condo all week. Finally he shook his head. “No, I want to go into your office. See if you get any more charms. And I know you have work you’ll need to do if you’re going to be out of the office on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.”
“I do,” she sighed. “But I’m scared enough that I’m willing to stay home.”
“I don’t want you to be scared, Zoe,” he said.
“I know,” she said. Took a deep breath. “But Ethan scares me. I thought I’d gotten over what happened all those years ago. When the charms showed up? That rattled me. Upset me. But seeing him in that car when you followed him? That brought all those horrible memories rushing back.”
“And right now, my presence represents the possibility of something bad happening again,” Spence said. He studied her for a long moment, frowning. “I wouldn’t be doing you any favors if I told you it was all going to be sweetness and light. That Davies would be respectful and leave you alone. We both know better than that.”
