Page 119 of Late Fees


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“What do you mean?”

“There was no way that I was going to move back to Illinois and not see you, Till. I knew I would find a way for our paths to cross.”

“Right, but what if I had stayed stubborn and hadn’t let you back in? What if I had refused to get coffee with you?”

“Then that would have been your choice, and I would’ve lived with it.” His tone was somber. “But at least I would have known that I tried—that I gave us the best chance I could.”

“I don’t deserve you,” I said, meaning every word. Because the truth was, I didn’t deserve him. While he’d spent his two years in Norway thinking of ways to get back to me, back to what we had, I was dating the captain of the freaking football team and walking through the countries of Epcot Center.

You don’t deserve him, Tilly. Maybe you never will.

A sobering chill ran down my spine at that thought.

“Don’t be ridiculous. We deserve each other.”

“I just can’t believe that you would do all of that…that you did all of that...for me.”

“Well, yeah,” he said with a crooked smile. “And I’d do it all again. I don’t want to live my life with any more regrets. I don’t…want to have any more fritter bags in that damn box.”

“I don’t want you to, either,” I said, wanting to tell him everything, wanting to explain myself. “I guess I just thought I was silly for missing you as much as I did. It was a high school relationship, and we’re told that those come and go and that we move on and date people, sometimes dozens of people, before we get it right. And I…I had no idea you were waiting for me, Wyatt. That you wanted to get back to me.”

“How could you not?” he asked, looking confused. “I never hid it from you.”

Shit.

It must have been in the letters.

Everything he’s saying must have been in those letters.

Closing my eyes, I prepared my confession. I had to tell him that it hurt too much to read his words, that it was easier to stuff them all in a box and cling to a rebound with Oden. I was going to tell him everything. And then he spoke.

“I have to tell you something, Till. Because I can’t risk losing you—not for anything. Not again.”

Feeling like the wind was about to be knocked out of me, I braced myself for heartbreak. “Go ahead.”

“My professor is recommending me for a special animation program this summer. She says I have real promise.”

“Wyatt, that’s amazing,” I said, pulling him in for a kiss. “Congratulations.”

“I don’t know if I’ll get in yet. I have to send in my application this week. The thing is, it’s in Los Angeles.”

“Oh,” I said. “For how long?”

“Four weeks,” he said, lines of concern forming on his forehead. “But I figure we can email and stuff now. And I can buy a bunch of calling cards, and maybe you can even come visit.”

“Yeah,” I said, choking on the word. I knew it was selfish, but I didn’t want Wyatt to be across the country for the summer—I wanted him to be just a few blocks away. I wanted to show up at his window in the middle of the night so we could walk to the 7-Eleven. I wanted to lay on the hood of his dad’s car and look up at the stars.

“What are you thinking?”

I swallowed hard. “I’m proud of you. And you should absolutely do it.”

“Okay,” he said, his expression still serious. “But how do you feel?”

“It’s not about me, Wyatt. It’s about you…about your career. And I want what’s best for you.”

“Tilly, come on.”

“Fine, I don’t want you to go, okay?” I said, placing a hand over my eyes. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it out loud. It’s selfish and immature.”

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