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I shrugged. “I mean, that’s just me, I guess.”
“I know.”
“What was it like?” I asked. “Dating a cool guy?”
“You mean Oden?”
“Obviously.”
“It’s so funny you brought him up. I just saw him tonight at Doug Burkowski’s party.”
“Oh,” I said, slightly taken aback, knowing that she’d seen Oden. I had no idea if Tilly was harboring feelings for her most recent ex-boyfriend. “How was that?”
“Ugh, frustrating. But liberating at the same time. He pissed me off so badly when he cheated, and I thought my world was coming to an end. But it’s been over a year now, and I’m fine. Like totally fine. And I have been for months.”
“Maybe you’re just good at getting over things,” I said, my voice dropping off. The second I said it, I wished I hadn’t. Things were going so well, and I worried that I might be opening the door to an argument.
“You couldn’t be more wrong about that.” Her voice was soft and vulnerable. “I was good at getting over Oden. But I can’t say the same about you.”
Hope stirred in my belly as I turned to her, overwhelmed at what she’d allowed herself to say. “I don’t think I’ll ever get over you.”
She gasped, and I continued. “But then again, I’m not sure that I want to.”
Tilly hesitated, then blinked several times before staring off into space. “If I’m honest…I’m not sure that I want you to, either.”
It wasn’t a proclamation of love, but it was a start.
“So, what do we do about that?”
She shook her head. “I’m not sure. I’m still so pissed off, and I don’t know how to stop feeling that way.”
“I understand.”
“You do?”
“Well, yeah. I don’t like it, but I get it.”
“Just…give me some time. We can be…friends.”
“Friends?” I asked, feeling skeptical. As much as I wanted Tilly in my life, friendship seemed like it would be torture.
“Yeah,” she said. “For now.”
Tilly offered me a weak smile, then yawned, raising her forearm to hide her mouth.
I checked the time. “Do you want me to walk you home? It’s almost two a.m.”
“No, that’s okay, but my feet are getting tired. Maybe we can just…hang out at your place?”
“My parents are asleep. We’ll have to be relatively quiet, but their room is on the other side of the house, so we should be fine.”
“I’ll try to keep my voice down. Should we go through the window?”
“Nah, I locked it. We’ll go in through the front.”
Eventually, we made our way to my house, and we walked through the darkened threshold. “I can’t see,” Tilly whispered before placing one hand on my shoulder.
“This way,” I whispered back as I led her to my bedroom, turning on the light switch and closing the door behind us.
