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“Juniper, the groom has a special request. He wants to know if you can help him say his vows?” Callie inquired over the earpiece in her other ear.
“It sounds like you’re busy, sweetie. I’ll call back later.”
“No, Gran, I needed to talk to you. Just a sec.”
Right. Groom’s vows. Juniper snatched up her clipboard and thumbed through the stack of papers. Bingo.
“As in feed him his vows? Seriously? Uhh. Yeah sure.” Why the heck not, she supposed.
“Great.”
“Gran, you still there. Is everything okay?”
“Everything is great,” Gran answered. “I just had an idea for my birthday party and thought you would need a bit of a fair warning.”
That had her brain revving in reverse and her attention fully on the next words to come out of her grandmother’s mouth. She dumped a few mints in her palm and popped them one after the other, dreading the next words.
When her gran actually called to give a heads up and used a word likewarningpaired with a sweet nonchalant voice, red flares went off and anyone fool enough not to listen was doomed. If you were smart—and this was something Juniper learned the hard way—you stopped and listened. Sometimes you prayed. “What are you talking about, Gran? What did you do?”
Gran chuckled a little and that made her a little more nervous. When her Gran had something up her sleeve, she normally didn’t give anyone a warning. Everyone found out about it at the same time as it unfolded on Facebook. She liked to keep people on their toes like that.
“What are you up to, lady? Spill it!”
“Nothing much. You’ll see. I tagged you on Facebook. Lots of your clients already love the idea by the little hearts, smiley faces, and thumbs up. Two hundred and forty-three by my last count to be exact.”
Juniper pulled the phone from her ear and hit speaker as she pulled up her Facebook page.Please don’t let this be bad. Please don’t let this be bad.
This was bad. “Magic Bullets, edible underwear and KY jelly for a birthday party for senior citizens really don’t make great party favors, Gran.” She scrolled down a little further. Oh God. Wow. “The um… visual aids were not required, Gran. I had no idea those things were unisex, though. My God. I can’t unsee that!”
Laughter fed through the phone. The kind that said her grandmother was having way too much fun with her little joke.
“Apparently. That was the fun part of my research.”
Juniper slid the preview up a little on her screen. Holy shit. Oh, that had her interest piqued. “Since when did they offer piña colada as a panty flavor? And wait. Is that a thong option?”
“Yeah, we’ll skip that one. There are about twenty flavors to pick from. But piña colada sounds fun and tropical. And besides, who says they’re not for senior citizens? They have extra-large. We like to have a good laugh too, ya know. Harry loves the idea of the Magic Bullet. Says it will spice up our nights. Oh, and we can color-code it to the rest of the decorations for the engagement party and get a discount. I checked. The nice guy on the phone said if we order in bulk we could have it all arrive in plenty of time for the party. How many do you think we need?”
Juniper tossed back a few more mints and sighed when the last one shook out into her mouth.
If…IF…she survived today, she considered changing her area code and moving to Australia. At this rate all the surprise ideas Gran had so far left her a couple of heartbeats shy of heart attack territory.
Juniper sighed. “As many as you can eat, I guess.”
