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Chapter Seventeen
The others driftedinto the kitchen, leaving Heavenly and Beck alone near the hearth. She didn’t hear them chatting; Liam’s final warning rang in Heavenly’s head. She was terrified of what tomorrow might bring. But what had her clinging to Beck tonight were his wrenching words. They’d reached powerful fingers around her heart and squeezed. She’d been shocked. But more than anything, she’d wept for him.
What kind of hell on earth had he endured? And how had he emerged not just kind but selfless and loving? How had he put so much behind him and forged a full, productive life? He’d walked away from everything he’d known when he’d barely been more than a child and blazed his own path, staying true to his values, beliefs, and passions.
By comparison, she’d allowed herself to be plagued for weeks by indecision, stuck on the teeter-totter of following someone else’s plan for her life on one side…and her own yearning heart on the other.
“I admire you so much.” She cupped his face. “You amaze me.”
He gripped her in return. “Despite my freaky upbringing? I mean, clearly it warped me.”
“No. It helped to mold you, but you’ve chosen to become who you are. You’ve refused to let anyone dictate that, and you’ve created your own identity, your own life. You were so unafraid…”
She felt horribly guilty that she hadn’t been.
Beck scoffed. “There were times I was afraid of everything. But you want to know what scared me most in the last two decades? You.”
“Me?” That took Heavenly aback.
“Your youth. Your innocence. Your goodness. You were everything I swore I’d never corrupt because I refused to become a fucking monster. I worried that my DNA would virtually ensure I’d destroy you one day.”
“Impossible. You and Seth have encouraged me to be more than I was, not for you—but for myself. And you’ve made me so much stronger.” In so many ways…
“Last Christmas, Gloria asked me if I was trying to save you because you were like Blessing…who, admittedly, had the same compliant disposition of every victim that my father and the elders plucked from The Chosen. It was a hard question—not because I thought you were weak, but because I didn’t understand my attraction to you. Physical, sure. But Gloria’s question made me do some soul searching. Finally, I realized you were nothing like Blessing. Despite being terrified to marry my father, she never once hinted that she was reluctant, much less refused. But you…” He nodded. “You fought the world when you had to. You have spine.”
“No.” Not lately. Not enough. Not when it counted.
“Yes. You crusaded for your father and tried your damnedest to juggle so many roles and make it work. I admire that about you. I was always drawn to your purity of spirit. Yes, my cock was impatient because I wanted you,” he admitted. “But it didn’t take long for me to fall in love.” He paused. “You’re committing your life to healing people, so I’ve wondered for months how you would feel if you knew I’d killed my father in cold blood.”
“I think you’re brave. And I—”
“Beck,” Seth called from the breakfast nook, leaning over a map with River and Dean. “You need to be in on this.”
Her sexy surgeon grimaced, looking reluctant to end their conversation. But they would have all night. Besides, what was in her head—and her heart—was something she needed to say to both him and Seth together.
“Go,” she prompted him. “I’ll be right here. I promise, I’m not going anywhere.”
Ever again.
He gave her a grateful smile, then took her lips in a quick, passionate press before heading for the kitchen and nodding Seth’s way. “What’s up?”
“How are you, little one?” Liam asked, suddenly behind her.
“I’m hanging in there.”
He shot her a dubious stare with that questioning brow raised. “Are you?”
“Well, I’ve got a million thoughts rolling through my head.” But Liam’s knowing expression told Heavenly that wasn’t news. “I’m not sure why you ask me anything when you already seem to have the answers.”
Liam laughed. “Have you made some decisions, then?”
About her life? Her future? Her heart? “Yes.”
People had been telling her for weeks that she was her own person and that she couldn’t live for her father. Logically, she’d known that—and agreed. But rejecting his plan for her life had been almost as hard as letting him go. Even when he wasn’t here, she hated to disappoint him, and her yearning to march to her own drum had felt like a betrayal. But fathers didn’t always know best. Look at Beck. If he’d followed his sire’s vision for his life, he’d now have multiple wives, dozens of children, live a straitjacket of an existence steeped in hypocrisy, and be completely miserable.
“I know what I have to do.”
“Excellent.”
