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“This trip alone might be the only way Heavenly heals enough to allow you two into her heart for good.” Grim understanding lined Liam’s face.
“Is that the spooky shit you inherited from your mom talking?” Seth grumbled.
Liam shrugged. “Either way, it’s time you listened. Hammer and I offered to teach you how to drive the bus, but neither of you is in any shape for us to hand over the wheel, mate.”
Beck snarled. “You can take your bus and shove it—”
“Stop being ridiculous,” Raine huffed. “She’ll call me if she runs into troub—”
“What good will that do?” Seth demanded. “It’s not like you can help her from LA. We should be with her.”
“I know you love her. I know the sacrifices you’ve made to be with her. But just because you’re ready for commitment doesn’t mean she is, especially right now. For the first time in years, her life doesn’t revolve around taking care of a dying man, so she has to search her soul and figure out what she wants. And nothing you or I or anyone else says is going to make her rush that.”
“Christ,” Seth spat.
Beck cursed. Raine understood their girl better than he and Seth. They’d both had the luxury of their rebellious teens and stupid twenties. Heavenly hadn’t. How could they ask her to spend her life with them now?
He wished the voice of reason in his head would shut the fuck up.
“Let’s go.” Beck didn’t know where since they weren’t going after her. But he scowled, stepped around Raine, and hauled his ass toward the door.
* * *
Heavenly’s soulfelt as barren as the desert she’d driven through. Now with Barstow in her rearview mirror for nearly two hours, she fought Vegas traffic north on I-15.
Loneliness crushed her.
Until now, she’d always had her father. He hadn’t been able to help her physically, but he’d always listened and offered sage advice. Today, she carried his ashes and heard only silence.
The crushing reality of his passing kept pelting her. She’d never talk to her dad again, never hear his familiar laugh, never hear him call her “boo” with that scratch of affection in his voice. She’d never know the comfort of having him a few feet away while she slept. Worst of all, she’d never hear him say I love you again. Of course, she tried to tell herself that he was in a better place without pain…but her selfish heart wept tears that mirrored the ones spilling down her cheeks.
As if that wasn’t enough, with every passing mile, the terrible, empty ache for Beck and Seth tormented her, too. She’d resisted a thousand urges to turn Raine’s car around, fling herself into their arms, and pledge them her future. Instead, she was voluntarily walking away.
Why? She was virtually alone in the world, and people searched for love their whole lives.
But she’d memorized the litany of reasons, and most of them were in the urn beside her.
Even if she broke her promises to Dad, was she capable of keeping Beck and Seth happy forever? They were worldly, well-rounded, experienced. What did a shy little Wisconsin farm girl really have to offer them?
Blinking away tears that threatened to blur the highway, she flipped on the radio. A deejay’s humor fell flat before he blessedly shut up. Rihanna crooned over the stereo next, accompanied by a hauntingly stripped-down melody, as she begged her lover to stay.
Heavenly’s resolve cracked. More tears poured down her cheeks.
She’d known today would be hard. She had expected the sorrow. She hadn’t expected her heart to be screaming that she was making a horrible mistake.
The navigation system on the SUV said she had a handful of minutes before she reached her destination. Though she kept wiping her eyes, it was a miracle when she found her exit. Thankfully, the sad ballad ended as she pulled off the highway and headed into the heart of the city. She’d find her motel soon. But first, she had a stop to make.
The deejay spouted more meaningless chatter before spinning another forlorn tune that began with despondent strokes of the piano. A man implored his lover to say something because he was giving up.
Just like Beck and Seth would. Maybe they already had. They must know she’d left by now. After the drama she’d already dragged them through, she wouldn’t blame them for deciding she was more trouble than she was worth. Of course they’d move on.
She never would. They were it for her, and leaving them was killing her. Her only consolation was that her departure was likely to hurt her far more than it could ever hurt them.
Heavenly clutched the wheel. Her anguished sob nearly made her miss the GPS telling her to make a right.
Jerking the car, she managed the last-minute turn. The rest of the drive passed in a blur until she reached a residential community. It was expansive and upscale. The well-manicured lawns were a mixture of grass and desert landscape. The houses were stucco, accented by brick and stone. And they were huge.
The automated voice told her to stop in front of a beautiful home with a Spanish tile roof and an ornate double front door. She was nervous as hell.
Gathering her courage, Heavenly checked herself in the rearview mirror, reapplied her powder and lipstick, and hoped her red-rimmed eyes weren’t too obvious. Then she stepped out of the SUV and trekked up the long, shallow stairs, down an extended walkway flanked by the wings of the house, then reached the entrance. Butterflies boxed in her stomach as she rang the bell. Now she just hoped Gloria Beckman wouldn’t slam the door in her face.
