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“We’re pretty much begging, little girl,” Beck pointed out. “And that’s something we never do.”
“All right. I’ll fly. Yesterday reminded me how long a drive alone can feel.”
While Beck barely resisted the urge to pump his fist in celebration, Seth exhaled in relief. “Thank you.”
“No, thank you.”
“We’ll get your flight booked this morning.” Beck wondered if she’d let them reserve a return ticket to LA. “Any idea what comes after you’ve seen to your dad?”
She shook her head. “I’m torn.”
Beck wished he could simply coax her to return home by dropping the L bomb, but it wasn’t that simple.
Fuck, he hated feeling helpless. He could control most anything on an operating table or a dungeon floor. But not Heavenly’s heart.
“Why?” Seth prompted.
“Well, when I moved to California, I always assumed Dad and I would someday return to Wisconsin and I’d buy back the farm.” She gave them a sad little sigh. “But I’ve always wanted to see the world, too. My dad knew and encouraged that. Then again, I have a whole life in LA now. So I’ve been trying to decide where I belong. I just don’t know.”
“How do you ultimately see your future?” Beck asked. “Farming? Traveling? Nursing?”
She shrugged. “That’s what I have to figure out. And I will. My head is just a jumble right now.”
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, not liking where this conversation had taken them. “Your father’s funeral was less than twenty-four hours ago. Of course you don’t have all the answers now.”
“I hate being so confused. But even if I could afford the farm, I don’t know how I’d feel about being there without Dad. What if Bayfield isn’t for me anymore? What if I love the memories more than the possibilities? And what if I decide to travel instead, but that doesn’t give me any clarity, either? Giving up a semester’s progress in nursing school for nothing seems stupid. On the other hand, if I go back to LA and resume that life, will I ever get the chance to see what else I’m missing?”
He understood her confusion. But if he and Seth were going to guide her and keep her close, Beck knew they had to tread carefully. “It’s not an easy situation. I know you want to see the world, but how will you do it without money?”
She shifted in her seat. “Raine lent me five thousand dollars. That’s more than I’ve had in my bank account in over a year. Since I only have myself to take care of, I could make that last a good while.”
Probably a lot longer than he and Seth liked. “What then?”
“Well, if the money runs out before I’ve made up my mind, I could take on work for a while, I guess.”
“Like at Bazookas?” Seth glowered. “That was a great job.”
Beck sent him a glare. Sarcasm wasn’t helping.
She frowned. “No. Once was enough. I only took that job because I was desperate to afford rent and my father’s meds. Now I just have to take care of myself and pay Raine back.”
“How long can you live like a gypsy?” Beck didn’t see her being happy like that.
“A few weeks. Maybe through the summer.” She shrugged. “But sooner or later, I’ll want a place to call home. I just don’t know where that is.”
“Why not LA?” he asked. “You have Raine, you have friends…”
“And you have us,” Seth added bluntly. “We want to spend our lives with you.”
“A part of me really wants that, too. You have no idea… But from day one, LA has felt overwhelming and terrifying. It’s been horribly disappointing. I was promised a recovery for my dad. We nearly starved. Now he’s gone. I know that if we hadn’t come, I never would have met Raine or you two. You all mean the world to me. But I can’t disappoint my dad…” She dropped her face in her hands. “I don’t know whether to follow my head or my heart.”
“And we can’t tell you. We just want you to be happy…wherever that is.” Caressing her crown, Beck choked on his words because, even if they were true, it hurt to say them. “But we’re hoping that’s with us.”
She looked up at them with tear-filled eyes. “I know. And I hate not having answers for you. You came all this way—”
“This isn’t about us,” Seth assured, then winced. “I admit I may have lost my shit a few minutes ago. Sorry.”
“You think?” Beck sent him a sardonic glance.
