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A sudden knock on the door had her jerking toward the sound.
“You okay, little girl?” Beck asked softly.
Heavenly wasn’t sure. “I need a minute.”
“I know,” he said in a low voice. “I’m shocked, too. But Seth is pacing like he’s about to come out of his skin. He’s falling apart without you.”
Now she understood exactly why Seth hadn’t wanted to tell her. He’d feared her reaction. He’d feared their backlash. He had feared breaking them apart.
Maybe he’d been right.
But if they managed to move forward—and if she ever wanted him to be honest again—she couldn’t shut him out like he was a monster.
Seth was still the same man who had brought her the most thoughtful gift ever when he’d merely been the acquaintance of a broke, overstressed nursing student. The same hero who had cobbled together a lovely picnic at a scenic park for their first date. The same lover who had given her her first kiss, full of the kind of passion and promise she’d been aching for. On top of that, he had worked with Beck, then his rival, to slay her Kathryn dragon because he’d been worried about her. He had pulled her from bed to face life again after her father’s passing and ensured that she both looked presentable for his service and that his final goodbye had been dignified. Then he had moved mountains to help her spread Daddy’s ashes when she had been overcome by indecision and grief.
Seth Cooper was a man who cared, who had compassion, who would do anything for those he loved.
Should she condemn him for avenging the woman he had pledged his life to and the child they’d created together?
Heavenly sighed. It was the violence itself she didn’t understand. He had relished that killing and made no bones about it. But she had never lived in his world. She had, however, lived with him. On some level, she grasped Seth wanting to put the past behind him and move on…but being unable to leave that chapter of his life without ensuring justice had been served.
Then she remembered the way he and Beck had beat the landlord, who’d demanded she pay rent on her back, to a pulp. And she realized… Seth hadn’t gone after the fight until it had come for his loved ones. Then, he hadn’t flinched or backed down. If she was the victim of a predator tomorrow, did she think for one moment that Seth would sit back and let others ensure the proper sentence was meted out?
No.
He would take matters into his own hands. And if she loved the man, didn’t she have to accept that about him?
Yes.
Dragging in a deep breath, she reached for the knob, resolved to face Seth, and figure out what should happen between them next.
* * *
Seth tried not to fidget as he paced the kitchen from counter to table and back again. He was aware of Beck eyeing him, leaning against the island a few feet away. Staring. Dissecting. Judging? Yeah, probably. Heavenly certainly had.
Not that he was shocked. Not that he blamed her. This was exactly why he’d avoided telling her the ugly truth. And the surgeon might spend a lot more time in hospitals than back alleys these days, but he’d lived part of his adolescence in Vegas on the streets. He was too smart not to read between the lines. If he hadn’t already figured it out, once the big sadist put a few minutes of thought into the situation, he’d realize there were holes in the story—and he’d start asking questions.
Seth cursed under his breath. There were parts of his past that no one fucking needed to know.
Finally, he couldn’t stand the silence anymore. “What did she say?”
“Not much. She’s thinking. Everything you laid out there…it was a lot for her to take in.”
Of course it was. In Heavenly’s world, people were nice. Everyone meant well. In Bayfield, Wisconsin, where she’d grown up, that had probably been true. Other than a few months of living in an LA ghetto, where she’d miraculously managed to remain unscathed by violence or crime, her wholesome upbringing was all she knew. For him, New York City had been vastly different, especially as a former cop willing to do anything for vengeance. The criminal element had come out of the woodwork to help—for the right price. And by then, Seth hadn’t cared much about the law.
“I shouldn’t have come here.”
Beck’s eyes narrowed. “So it would have been better if you’d just given up on us?”
Seth scowled. “She’s horrified by me now.”
“She’s processing,” Beck corrected.
No, she was making a crucial decision. “She’s trying to decide if she can live with a killer.”
The surgeon didn’t sugarcoat. “Yes.”
A rough breath left Seth’s chest as he resumed pacing. Then something else occurred to him, and he pinned Beck with another stare. “Despite the fact you save lives every day, what I did doesn’t bother you?”
