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Despite the fact Seth had known this was coming, just as he’d known he had to tell them the details of Autumn’s and Tristan’s deaths, he flinched. Time to be painfully honest again. If he couldn’t be, they were right; they had no prayer of lasting.
“I want to.”
“What’s stopping you?” Beck demanded.
A couple of things. First, he addressed Heavenly. “Can you live with what I did? I can’t undo it, angel. It will always be a stain on my past.”
“I won’t say it didn’t shock me, but you would never hurt me.”
He nodded emphatically. “Ever. I would never lift a hand to you. I would die protecting you.”
“I know.” She kissed him softly.
Pressed against her back, Beck let out a tense breath and pasted on a smile. “So it’s settled?”
Seth winced. “I have another problem. It’s something I don’t have the right to ask you for. But if I don’t, I’m not sure I can stay.”
The surgeon sent him a challenging glare. “Try me.”
“I-I lied.” He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling guilty as hell. But the sounds of Heavenly crying urged him on. “I can’t live here if Zach does. His tragedy hits too close to home. The memories… I thought I’d handled them. I thought I could deal. But I—”
“We know.” Beck reached over Heavenly to clap his shoulder. “We already figured it out.”
Relief curled through Seth. They had? Why hadn’t they said so?
She curled against his chest and looked up at him with imploring eyes. “We were just waiting for you to tell us.”
“Why? Angel, I can’t tell Beck who he can and can’t have living in his house. And Zach’s loss is so much fresher. Asking him to accommodate me is shitty and…I feel fucking weak. But not communicating with you two only made it worse. I retreated and got in my head…and I’m sorry.”
As Heavenly kissed his jaw in absolution, Beck shook his head. “I understand. But we all live here. We all need to be comfortable here. This should be our sanctuary, not someplace you try to escape by sleeping on the too-short sofa in your office.”
“You’re right.” Seth felt more than vaguely guilty. “I fucked up. But he’s your brother. He’s suffering, and he has nowhere else to go. He can’t stay on the streets, and every minute he’s out there, he could be recognized, harassed—”
“I have an idea that I’m hoping will suit us all. But first things first. Put Zach aside for a minute. Do you want to come home and be with us?”
Put Zach aside? How? “It’s not that simple—”
“It is. Yes or no?”
Seth gaped. If Zach wasn’t in the picture… “I never wanted to leave in the first place. I’ve never been happier than when I was here.” He glanced down at Heavenly. “I love you.”
She beamed up at him, her cheeks still rosy with satisfaction. “I love you.”
Finally, Beck smiled. “Then I know what to do. Just promise me you won’t abandon us again.”
That seemed like the simplest promise in the world to keep. “I won’t.”
And if he stayed with them, he’d reconcile what their future looked like—commitment and babies and forever. He just needed time to get it all straight in his head.
“Then I got you,” Beck promised. “Leave the situation with Zach to me.”
