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I looked in the mirror again. It was the best option so far. It was a black dress with thin straps that looked simple when it was hanging up, but the thin, rich fabric slicked down my body, accentuating my curves and setting off my blonde hair. Somehow it made my waist look smaller and my chest bigger. I still didn’t look a thing like the models I saw everywhere, but I didn’t look bad. I tugged at the scooped neckline.
“Stop it,” Halley ordered.
I pulled my hands away and resisted the urge to tug down the hemline, too. “It’s not too short?”
“It’s short, not too short. And you’re going to look like a nun next to some of the girls there, trust me.” Halley was looking down again, and I could tell I was losing her attention. Then I heard a voice call out to her, “Ready for dinner?”
A pang went through me. I missed going to dinner with my friends. Sometimes it had been an amorphous mass of us descending on the dining hall and pulling tables together. Sometimes it was just two or three. Either way, it was better than eating alone on Halley’s pink couch every night. And it was a million times better than forcing myself to go out with a girl I wasn’t sure I liked and definitely didn’t trust.
“I’ve got to go,” Halley said, slamming shut the lid of her laptop. “Wear that with heels and heavy eye makeup. It’s perfect. You’ll look like an off-duty rock star.”
* * *
On Friday, Victoria came home with me after work. When she saw where I lived, she looked at me with curiosity and new respect. “Your parents must be rich.”
“It belongs to a friend,” I said evasively.
It had taken me nearly a week to feel comfortable in my best friend’s condo. Victoria made herself at home right away, walking through each room, running her hands over furniture, even opening my closet. She looked from the contents of it to the black dress I had hanging on the back of the door, an eyebrow cocked.
“One of these things is not like the other,” she pronounced, tapping the dress lightly with a long, black, stiletto nail.
I knew what she meant, so I wasn’t going to ask her to clarify. Of course, she took it upon herself to do so anyway.
“This is designer. Maybe even off the runway.” Victoria almost cooed the words. She was looking at the dress like she wanted me to leave them alone together. Then her gaze narrowed at the clothes hanging in the closet. “This is like, Mossimo.”
I couldn’t argue that. Many of my clothes were from Target. I offered an awkward shrug instead, wondering again if I’d made a huge mistake when I made plans with her.
Means to an end, I reminded myself. I’d find some nice guy to take my mind off Con tonight, and then Victoria and I could go back to ignoring each other in the office until I rotated away from Brand Development. God, it couldn’t come too soon.
Victoria wandered into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Her gaze went right to one of the bottles of white wine that looked so expensive. Without even asking, she pulled it out and rifled through the drawers until she found the wine opener and wine glasses. “All right then,” she said approvingly. “Your taste is…eclectic, but I can work with this.”
I decided it wasn’t the time to tell her I normally drank Barefoot wine. I accepted the glass she poured me, and we retreated to opposite bathrooms to get ready. Nerves made it hard to apply the eye makeup Halley had suggested but finishing my first glass of wine helped. I went out and poured myself a second, then carried the bottle to the other bathroom to top off Victoria’s glass. She was struggling to get herself into a red dress that fit like Spanx. I looked for a zipper, but there was none. I set down the bottle and helped unroll the bottom of the dress from where it had bunched up in a tight band around her ribs.
“Thanks,” Victoria said breathlessly, pulling it the rest of the way down. It was longer than mine, going nearly to her knees, but it was so tight I could see the indentation of her belly button, the striations of her ribs, and the thin line of her underwear. She frowned, seeing it too, and before I knew it, she was shimmying out of them.
“That’s better,” she said, nodding at her reflection decisively.
“Are you sure you can walk in it?” I asked doubtfully.
“If Kim can, I can.” Victoria tossed her long dark hair back determinedly. She didn’t look like she was going out to have fun. More like she was heading into battle. It was on the tip of my tongue to say we who are about to die salute you. I swallowed the words back and returned to my bathroom to get ready. I had more confidence now, and I plunged into my make up bag with more zeal. I didn’t know if it was the wine or the realization that I couldn’t possibly look as absurd as Victoria, no matter how much eyeliner I put on. When I was done, I hardly recognized myself. I didn’t know if I looked sexy and sultry or completely ridiculous, but it was too late to turn back now.
I pulled on a pair of my own black heels—Halley’s were too high—and walked out into the living room where Victoria was opening a second bottle of wine.
“Hope that’s all right,” she said when I saw her, sounding like she didn’t care one way or another. “You look…” her gaze narrowed as she took me in from head to toe. “Are those Mix No. 6?” she asked patronizingly when her eyes reached my shoes.
I glanced down at them. “I’m not sure. I got them from DSW.”
“Of course you did.” Victoria popped the cork and poured us both generous glasses of wine. “Well good job on the dress, okay?”
Strangely, her attitude only added to my confidence. She was wearing heeled sandals with gladiator-style straps that wound their way all the way up her calves to just below her knees, where she’d tied them off so tightly that they made white indentations in her skin and her calves bulged between them, looking almost quilted. The straps themselves were covered in small silver studs that made the shoes look like they should be classified as weapons. There was a line of matching studs on the back of the heel that reminded me of a brontosaurus. She’d covered her face in makeup that was two shades paler than her own skin, and strangest of all, she’d smeared the foundation over her eyebrows so at first glance, it looked like she didn’t have any.
If she didn’t think I looked good, well, that was all right with me.
When we got to the opening of what, confusingly, was a restaurant even though it was set up like a club for this special opening evening, I didn’t even feel self-conscious. Anyone who looked at us would skip right over me and stare at her. That would leave me free to peruse the available men in peace. I didn’t have much hope of finding a nice, normal guy in this crowd, but stranger things had happened.
And being with Victoria had other advantages. She seemed to know exactly what to do and where to go. She navigated us through the line quickly, got us up to the bar in minutes, and even managed to procure one of the small cocktail tables. Despite her outcast status at work, she seemed to know people here, and before long, she’d collected a group around us. I quickly got the vibe that these weren’t people I’d necessarily become friends with. They all seemed to have a similar mentality to Victoria. Even when they were talking to you, their eyes searched past you for someone more interesting. They deigned to speak to me at all because, like Victoria, I worked at The Walker Agency. I quickly discovered that working there was a type of currency in this world. It got me onto the lowest rung of importance. I had a feeling that if they knew I was friends with Halley Walker, I’d climb halfway up in one leap. Instinctively, I knew I’d never let them find out. I didn’t want these strange, beautiful social vampires to think I had anything they wanted.
For a while, it didn’t matter that I didn’t really like who I was with. The novelty of being out was enough. Then I treated it like a fascinating anthropological study in which I got to observe the mannerisms of social climbing society up close and personal. When even that got boring, I started to search for the man I’d come here for. Someone nice, who wasn’t buying into this either. I spotted a few possibilities, but either they were attached to someone or just something was missing. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what.
After two hours of this, my feet hurt, and I was two drinks in too deep. I wasn’t drunk exactly, but I wasn’t entirely steady. I hated that feeling.
“I’m going to get water,” I told Victoria. She glanced at me without comprehension, her mouth still moving a mile a minute as she gossiped with one of the other girls. Without bothering to repeat myself, I slipped away. Even with the alcohol buzzing in my bloodstream, I was starting to feel a little down. I didn’t want to be at this fancy opening with these fascinating people. I wanted to be in my old sorority house with my friends. And I didn’t want to be looking for nice boys like the kind I’d fallen for in Ohio.
I wanted Con.
The alcohol loosened the tight clamp my brain had put on the thought, and it sprung open so suddenly I didn’t have a chance to stuff it back down. I wanted him, and it didn’t matter that he was Halley’s dad or my boss. The desire was completely independent from reason, rational, and reality.
And then suddenly, he was there.
