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CON
Imade the decision as soon as Lily left. I had to get her out of my life before this happened again. I should have never let things go so far between us. And I never would have if I’d known it was her first time. At least, that was what I told myself. I couldn’t explain why I’d done it a second time, and then a third, other than to say that she went to my head. I didn’t think straight around her, and now I really fucking needed to untangle this mess. I’d never been with a virgin–Kim had been my first though I hadn’t been hers–but I was pretty sure it meant something when one chose you. Meant something more than I was prepared to give.
The first step to getting Lily out of my life was to get her out of my office. I made a call to the top celebrity divorce lawyer in town to see if I could arrange an internship for Lily in her office. She’d represented several of my clients, and we’d been friends for years. We’d crossed the line between friends and lovers a few times, but neither of us had ever been interested in more.
“Well, if it isn’t Con Walker,” she said when she answered the phone. “Who is it this time?” There was relish in her voice. Laura loved a good divorce. The nastier the better.
“It’s not about a divorce,” I said.
“Oh?” her voice downshifted into a purr. “If this isn’t about business, is it about pleasure?”
“Not exactly.” I gave Laura the situation straight. I’d considered playing it as just trying to call in a favor for my daughter, then rejected the deception for two reasons. One, it wasn’t necessary. Laura and I had shared a few nights. Nothing to get possessive over. Two, Laura was a seasoned professional at detecting bullshit. Nothing would piss her off more than to discern that I was lying to protect her feelings when she didn’t have any worth protecting. At least not where I was concerned.
“Oh Con,” she laughed, and the sound was rich and throaty. “Oh, you’ve really done it now. I thought you were smarter than that.”
“I thought so too,” I said grimly. “We were both wrong.”
“She’s going to law school?”
“Yeah, she got in this year. She deferred for financial reasons. That’s why Halley asked me to give her a job and a place to stay.” I drummed my fingers on my desk, my gaze returning to the front door. Where the hell was Lily? And why was I so anxious to see her when the whole point of this phone call was to never see her again?
“So nice of you to give her all that and more,” Laura said.
My unamused silence didn’t stop her from laughing again.
“Okay, okay. I’ll stop,” she said. “Listen, I don’t need an intern, but I do need a receptionist. Think you can sell her on that?”
“I think she’ll be there tomorrow. Thanks, Laura.” I hung up the phone just as Lily came in. She’d changed into a black pants suit that somehow managed to accentuate her curves, making her look less and less like the college girl she’d been when she got here. Now she looked like a full-blooded woman. Or maybe it was my perception that had changed since I’d made her one, taking the last vestiges of girlhood. Whatever it was, she looked too damn good to stay.
I buzzed her. “Lily, can you come to my office for a minute?”
She’d just hung her purse on the hook and was saying good morning to Angie. Now she looked up and met my eyes through the glass. It was a cliche to call it a deer in the headlights expression, but that was exactly what it was. Eyes wider than Bambi’s, lips parted in surprise. She made her way around to the door, let herself in, and turned around to face me, still holding the handle with one hand.
“I’m not going to bite,” I said brusquely.
Her cheeks flushed, and I remembered that I’d bitten last night. Nipped the soft flesh, tasted. I looked away, jaw clenching as I tried to get a grip on myself. “This isn’t going to work,” I said tightly, directing my words to the Ficus beside my desk. “I can’t have you here. Not after…” I looked back to see her face was now very pale.
“What do you mean?” Lily asked, her voice trembling. “Are you seriously firing me after–?”
I cut her off before she could get to what came after. “No, I’m giving you a better opportunity. My friend is a top divorce lawyer in this town. She needs a receptionist. It’ll be a good way to learn the business. Better than you could get here.”
Lily’s eyes had lost their focus. I couldn’t tell if she was looking at me or through me, and I had no idea what was running through her head as she listened to me list all the reasons this would be better.
“It’s not about any of that though, is it?” she said quietly when I was done. “It’s about us.”
“It’s about there not being an us,” I corrected. “Last night was a mistake.”
Lily lifted her chin, her eyes snapping to life again the way they did when I pissed her off. “And this morning?”
I exhaled in frustration. “Another fucking mistake, Lily. That’s why I can’t have you around. I’m going to keep making mistakes with you, and I don’t want to be that asshole.”
“And you think firing me–”
“Reassigning you,” I corrected.
“--makes you, what, a standup guy?” Her blue eyes were blazing now, but she kept her voice quietly controlled.
“No, I don’t think it makes me a standup guy,” I said, struggling to keep my own voice from rising. My hands balled into fists with the effort of keeping them to myself. Even as I was trying to send her away, I wanted to drag her closer. Why had I succumbed to this open concept office bullshit? If I had a wall instead of a window between my office and the reception area, I could touch her.
