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LILY
As soon as Con picked Halley up for the airport midday on Monday, I went to his penthouse. It was disturbingly like coming home. I walked around, checking on the plants. Greeting them like old friends. I walked into his bedroom and felt a wave of anticipation roll over me. Soon. Soon.
When he finally walked through the door, I couldn’t stop myself from throwing myself into his arms.
He caught me deftly and hoisted me up in his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck, and sank against him. It felt so good to be pressed against him like this. A relief, a release that went beyond sex. I loved him.
“I missed you,” I said later, when we were lying in bed naked.
“I missed you too.” He was rubbing his thumb idly over my nipple, and it was starting to make me wet all over again. “It was hell sitting across from you and not being able to touch you.”
“Do you think we’ll ever be able to tell her?” I wondered.
We were both quiet for a moment, unable to picture it. “I don’t know,” Con said finally. “It’s starting to feel shittier and shittier to lie to her.”
“Maybe we’re overthinking it. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a big deal.”
Con snorted. I didn’t bother pursuing that fantasy any further. We both knew it would be a huge deal to Halley. I ran my fingers through his hair while he continued to stroke my breasts. “You know what’s funny?” I asked, then clamped my lips shut. “Never mind.”
Con raised his head, his dark eyes intent on mine. “Tell me.”
“It’s not funny,” I temporized. “It’s…I don’t know. Interesting, I guess.”
He waited.
“You can’t tell her I told you, but Halley has a secret she keeps from you, too.”
“I don’t want to hear about my daughter’s love life, Lily,” he said warningly.
“No. It’s about her career. She wants to be an actress, and she’s terrified to tell you. Just like you’re afraid to tell her about me.”
Con stared at me. “Halley wants to be an actress?”
I nodded. “It’s all she’s ever wanted to do. She said you told her she had to go to college, no matter what. She was afraid if she tried to go in LA, the temptation to join the industry would be too much. But once she graduates, that’s her plan.”
Con shook his head, his mouth thinning. “I hate it, but there’s nothing I can do about it. She went to college like I asked.”
“Do you think there’s any scenario in which you tell her about me, and she doesn’t like it but accepts it?”
Neither of us could answer that question, so we pushed it away. It felt too good to be together again to let anything ruin it. We fell back into our old pattern of spending every minute together that we could and acting like polite near strangers at work. We still had sex every chance we got and ordered food from all over the city, but things were deepening between us, too. He even opened up about what was going on with Halley’s mother.
“You gave her a million dollars to sign an NDA?” I gasped.
“I’d give her twice that to go the fuck away,” Con said grimly, “but she cares about Halley just enough not to take it.”
I’d met Kim a few times. She was beautiful and terrible. Halley couldn’t see it, but I did. She loved Halley like her daughter was a commodity. A designer purse. A luxury vacation. I shivered with anger, thinking about how casually she was willing to hurt Halley. No wonder Con went to such lengths to protect her.
“At least she signed it,” I said. “And once Halley graduates, she’s out of your life, right?”
“She’s out of my wallet anyway, and that’s all I care about.”
Though Con didn’t show a flicker of emotion, I felt wild, defensive anger on his behalf. I kissed him gently and loved him more tenderly than ever before. I wanted to protect him from things that had already happened. Kim. This city. Himself.
At night, when he fell asleep, I whispered what he wasn’t ready to hear when he was awake. I love you. His slow, steady breathing never changed.
* * *
Early one Tuesday morning, I woke up with my mouth watering. It wasn’t from hunger. My stomach was roiling, and I could already feel vomit climbing up my esophagus. I barely made it to the bathroom before I threw up. Then I sagged against the porcelain toilet.
