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“I’m thinking of losing it.” It would be the solution to all my problems, wouldn’t it? Salvatore won’t want to marry me if I’ve already given his coveted prize to another man. The other three mafia men are just as virginity obsessed. I could be free of all of them at once.
“You think you want to lose it?” Rosaline asks. “You better make up your mind before suggesting it to Mr. Fiore. He’s so hot for you he’ll jump you likethat.” She snaps her fingers.
“Not with Salvatore. With someone else.”
The three of them stare at me, scandalized. Then Sophia bursts out laughing. “You could try, but Mr. Fiore wouldn’t let it happen.”
“Do you remember when he dragged Ginevra out of a restaurant last year because she was on a date with Adriano Montessori?” Candace says, her eyes shining. “The pictures were everywhere online. He was like a tiger.”
Montessori is an infamous playboy with a reputation of going through every socialite in Coldlake. Seducing Ginevra Fiore would have been his crowning glory.
The three of them discuss Salvatore’s bouts of brotherly overprotectiveness over the years, until Rosaline says to me, “Anyway, our point is, when it comes to family pride, Mr. Fiore is an unstoppable force. He’s not going to allow anyone unworthy to get their hands on his sisterorhis fiancée.”
Candace stares at me, baffled. “Why would you even want to give it to someone else when you’re marrying Mr. Fiore?”
I shrug and mutter vaguely about having reasons.
Rosaline’s words ring in my ear for the next week.When it comes to family pride, Mr. Fiore is an unstoppable force.With pride that strong, surely me having sex with another boy would wound Salvatore so much that he would break off our engagement.
As if he’s trying to stay upmost in my mind, the boy in the black leather jacket, Griffin, crosses my path again. On Sunday morning he’s in the line behind me in my favorite café, buying coffee, and he smiles at me when I notice him.
The following Wednesday evening I’m jogging in the park when I spot a familiar figure on the tennis courts. Griffin, wearing black shorts and a tight black T-shirt. As I jog past, he waves at me, a yellow tennis ball clutched in his fingers. There are tattoos decorating his forearms and more on his biceps.
On Saturday afternoon I’m studying in the public library when someone carrying a stack of books slides into the seat next to mine. Right next to mine, when there are half a dozen free tables nearby.
I look up, and I’m only mildly surprised to see it’s Griffin. He pretends to be absorbed in his reading but a smile is glimmering around his mouth. When he finally “notices” me staring at him, he leans his chin on his fist and grins lazily at me. “Oh, hey. Fancy seeing you here.”
“Are you following me? This is getting creepy.”
Griffin laughs and shakes his head. “No. But. Okay, full confession. I see you around a lot but you never notice me. I thought I’d try making you notice me. I think you’re cute and I can’t get you out of my mind.”
He gazes deep into my eyes, and smiles. If Salvatore looked at me like that, I’d probably feel a tug on my insides and hear a voice whispering to tilt my mouth up to his. But he’s not Salvatore so that smile just leaves me cold.
Griffin is playing with fire, flirting with me in public, and I don’t want to get anyone beaten up or killed. I turn a page in my book. “You should stay away from me, for your own sake. My fiancé is crazy.”
Griffin laughs softly. “Salvatore Fiore doesn’t scare me.”
“He should,” I say, highlighting a line in my notes.
Griffin leans over and covers my hand with his big one. His voice is low and his lips are close to my ear. “Want to get out of here?”
His voice is thick with suggestion. This is what I’ve been waiting for, isn’t it? A sign I should sleep with some other boy and get Salvatore off my back. I glance up at Griffin. He’s cute enough, I guess. He’s got a great body, but I don’t feel anything when he touches me. His hand on mine doesn’t cause fire to ripple through my veins.
But that’s a good thing, right? I don’t want to want Griffin. I just need a boy, any boy, to rid me of my pesky virginity.
And yet the idea of kissing Griffin gives me the creeps. Salvatore and his ex-friends seem to have left indelible ownership on my body. I can remember vividly every place they touched me, and it didn’t feel wrong.
Except for Lorenzo. That felt insane.
Griffin picks up a pen and writes a number in my notebook before getting to his feet. “Call me,” he says, and walks away.
I watch him go, worrying at my lip with my teeth. My life has turned into a game of chess as I try to think three steps ahead. It will never be over unless I find some way to win.
Later that week, I stay after school for an extra chemistry class with a handful of other students. The school is deserted as I walk out the gates. The parking lot is almost empty except for a handful of teachers’ cars.
And a black Cadillac Escalade.
The driver’s side door opens and Griffin gets out, looking like any high school girl’s wet dream in that black leather jacket and faded jeans. He waits for me by the open door, one eyebrow raised.
