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“Forever is a long time,” I muttered while staring down at my drink.
“The same woman in your bed. Fucking the same woman forever.”
“I’ve fucked a lot of women. At one point, I lost count.” I scratched my hairy jaw, which had gone from carefully under-shaven to caveman.
“You wouldn’t miss that?” he asked.
“No. I actually haven’t wanted to Tinder all year.” I sipped my beer while reflecting. “After Ivy dumped me the first time around eight months ago, I started dating again, and you know…” This was why I liked talking to my buddies—it helped me talk things through without those broad Freudian questions about my childhood. “I actually had more fun kicking back with you guys, watching the ball game and getting hammered.”
“You’re not switching to man love, are you?” he asked.
I laughed. “I love you guys. But I don’t want to get naked and play mommies and daddies, no.”
He chuckled.
I knitted my fingers. “Ivy’s great.”
“Then do it. I’ll be there to cheer you on.”
I turned to face him. “You’ll be my best man?”
“Are you asking?”
“You bet. I mean, there’s Alex. But considering how much he hates weddings…”
“He doesn’t hate weddings. I mean, it’s great for picking up women.” He grinned.
Didn’t I know it? “Yeah… but I don’t want to see one of his sworn-to-bachelorhood smug looks while he’s handing me the ring.”
“You almost sound afraid of him,” he said.
“More in dread of hearing him harp on about how I’ve changed my tune.”
He patted my arm. “Don’t worry, buddy. We all change. Even Alex.”
“You know what’s weird?”
He shook his head.
“I’d still want to marry Ivy, even if my father wasn’t forcing my hand. I’m really warming to the idea of living together. Having babies.”
He nearly spat out his drink. “Babies? Weren’t you the one that complained about having your designer shirt stained by your nephew?”
I nodded pensively. “He’s kinda cute. When he’s not pooping everywhere.”
“You’ve got that look in your eyes,” he said.
“What?”
“You’re in love.”
I rolled my eyes, even if I wasn’t about to protest. “We attended a Tantra session.”
“Isn’t that like sexual yoga?”
I nodded. “We didn’t fuck. We just stared into each other’s eyes while massaging each other.”
“That sounds nice.”
