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I have never been lost for words with my best friend before. Even when things were clearly shit with Leon and I could tell she wasn’t confessing everything to me, we never had to suffer through this kind of awkwardness. I don’t quite know what to do with myself.
I shouldneverhave kissed her father. That’s where all this is stemming from, I’m sure. Guilt swirls around in the pit of my stomach like a violent whirlwind. I swallow hard, needing to make this right. Except, I don’t know what to do to make this better. But I’ll try anything.
“I can come with you, if you want to, the water does look nice…”
Oops, no, she isn’t listening to me anymore. She’s back on her phone, messaging Benji I can only assume. He’s the only person who can put a smile on her face right now. I let out a sad sigh, wondering if I should maybe take this as my excuse to leave. It doesn’t seem like Olivia really needs me here anymore, not now she has Benji, and I really don’t want to see Elijah again.
“Actually change of plan.” Olivia bolts up in her seat with a new round of energy. “Benji wants to take me out somewhere nice, so I think I’ll do that.” She gathers her things up without worrying about me. I know I have work to do, so I should go do that, or I could just chill out here for a bit by myself. I wouldn’t be the only one so it wouldn’t be strange or anything. But still, I’m a bit stung. “I don’t know what time I’ll be back, but I’ll keep in touch while on my date, okay?”
I bite back the feeling that I’m just a spare part and in the way. “Sure thing. See ya.”
A weakness overcomes me as I watch her leave. I know this is all very good for her, so why does it leave me feeling so lost? I guess because I know what I’ve done. Unless I want to get all caught up in that sadness today, I guess I should head up to the room and get on with some work. After everything that happened last night I was too wired and wound up to do anything, so I just…didn’t. I ignored all my deadlines and thought abouthiminstead.
Well, no more. I needed to focus on myself for a little while.
It’s with a heaviness that I haul myself to the cabin so I can get on with work. But of course now I’m left with a new distraction. From here, I have a clear view of Elijah’s cabin and memories of last night flood me. How the hell am I ever going to focus on what I need to do whenheis going to be such a presence here?
Maybe I need to go back home…
* * *
No sign of Olivia.
Nor have I heard anything from her.
I guess I’m going to be spending the whole night by myself.
Actually, I don’t mind too much. It sure beats the awkwardness between us, which I wish would go away. When I reluctantly agreed to this trip, I really wasn’t thinking that there was any way it would end up ruining my friendship with her.
Mind you, I certainly haven’t been behaving like the friend of the century, have I? So I can’t be the one making any complaints here. Whether Olivia knows the truth or not, I can’t take back what has happened.
It’s always going to be pressing down on me like a weight.
That’s why I can’t even eat dinner out on the veranda without my laptop by my side. I need to keep working so I don’t think too much about what I’ve done.
I donotwant those memories sticking with me…
“Are you all alone?”
But of course, that doesn’t mean the memories aren’t going to hunt me down.
“Oh… Elijah…” I smile without even thinking about it, because annoyingly he does bring a grin to my face. “Yeah, Olivia is out on a date so it’s just me tonight.”
I didn’t mean for that to sound suggestive.
Too late, it did.
“Well, I don’t have any meetings tonight, so if you aren’t busy we could always have a couple of drinks if you want.” Almost as if he realizes how that sounds, he corrects himself immediately. “I had lunch with Olivia today, and I would like some advice.”
Ah!
Okay, this could be good for me as well. I would love to know more about what happened, so I nod without thinking about it. I close my laptop, because I won’t need it with Elijah to talk to. Knowing what’s upsetting Olivia will make it much easier for me to help her with whatever she needs from me. I can be the friend she needs right now. And if I find out that I can’t be any use, then maybe Elijah can sort me out with a plane ride home.
Iknowwe will probably have to discuss last night as well, to make sure that it was definitely a mistake and not something that will ever happen again, but hopefully that will just be a quick chat, and not awkward at all.
After all, we’re both adults here, it’ll be fine.
He grabs a couple of drinks and sits beside me. Immediately I’m struck by the heat rolling off of his body. It lures me in, making me want to edge my way closer to him. It honestly takes every scrap of energy and effort I have not to move his way.
