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I freeze, as does Isabella.
Jealousy coils through my veins.
Shit. I don’t have any right to feel that way, but how the hell can I shut those feelings down?
“Oh no, I don’t think that would be a good idea,” Isabella replies so fast that her words might as well be tripping over one another. “I have a lot of work to do, so I think I’m ging to stay behind.”
“No way, you can’t do that!” Olivia says forcefully. I don’t think she’s going to let Isabella get out of this. “I bet the waterfall will be gorgeous. We need to get some photos.”
For some reason, these words seem to work. Isabella deflates like a balloon and ends up nodding. “Sure okay, I will come with you. But I don’t want to have anyone else come along. I will be the photographer, nothing more. I don’t want to go on a blind date.”
Isabella’s eyes meet with mine, only for the briefest second, but it’s enough to stain her cheeks with an adorable pinkness. IknowI’m part of the reason she doesn’t want a date, and that pleases mewaymore than it should.
This trip might be a mistake. I probably shouldn’t have suggested it.
“I’m going to call Benji right away,” Olivia declares happily as she jumps to her feet eagerly with her phone clutched tightly between her fingers. “Be back in a jiffy.”
I don’t know if this is my cue to leave as well, but I don’t. If we’re going to be in close proximity all day long, because we can’t seem to keep away from one another, then words need to be spoken.
We can’t keep avoiding difficult topics forever.
“So, erm…” I begin just as Isabella speaks.
“Sorry, I…” We both break off with an awkward laugh while I indicate for her to go first. “I did try to keep out of the trip today so it isn’t awkward, but you see what Olivia is like when she sets her mind to something. So determined.” Isabella glances towards where Olivia just walked before she vanished inside the cabin to have her conversation in private. “It’s why I’m so confused as to why she stuck around with Leon for so long.”
“I…I guess everyone makes mistakes. She is still very young with lots of time to recognize these patterns to make sure she doesn’t make them again.”
Who the hell am I talking about now? Me and June when we were young? Olivia? Or Isabella herself? I can tell she’s wondering the same thing.
Fuck, if I had an answer I might fill her in on the details, but I’m as stuck as her.
“So, last night,” she whispers leaning forwards, her cheeks now flaming red instead of pink. “Shouldn’t have happened. I think we both had a few too many drinks.”
We both that wasn’t the case. We barely drank anything; we were just giddy and happy but I will nod along and agree with this because it makes it easier to justify our actions. It’s obvious this conversation is needed so we won’t keep making the same mistake.
“Right, so we don’t need to worry about it,” I tell her.
“Yes, I think that might be for the best. If we just chalk it up to a one-time thing.” Two times, but who’s counting? “And we just focus on Olivia for now.”
That is what I’m supposed to be doing, so it isn’t too much of a stretch, but it’s still disheartening. No one has made me feel the way that Isabella has. But if it’s a choice between Isabella and Olivia then I have no choice but to pick my daughter. This is my one chance with her and if I ruin things then that will be it forever.
I find myself nodding along like a crazy person, answering all my own questions. Because much as this sucks, pretending it didn’t happen is the best way forward for us both.
Olivia comes flying out of the cabin, full of joy and excitement. She tells us that Benji is more than happy to come along with us for our day out on the island. I guess this isn’t going to be the bonding day I was hoping for but it’s fine.
Olivia is smiling and I’m all here for it.
So, I guess we’re all going to the water fall and not talking about anything.
Good, great. That’s going to be interesting for sure.
Hopefully not in a bad way…
ChapterSixteen
ISABELLA
This is awkward.
