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Now though, I really can’t see it.
My heart will definitely be bruised when I get back home, which is why today it’s good to feel things come full circle.
We keep moving into the water until it’s lapping around our waists. I glance around super quickly to check that no one can see us from here, which by some miracle they can’t. This little cove really is our own little slice of heaven where we can actually have some privacy.
I don’t waste time; I keep kissing Elijah as my hand dips underneath the water to explore what he has for me inside his swim shorts.
Fuck, he’s already hard for me, throbbing for me, grunting with excitement because he wants more from me. No man has ever made me feel this way before, I haven’t ever been so animalistic and desperate, unable to keep my hands off a person like this. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do with my hands once I’m alone again.
I stroke him for a couple of minutes, but my body absolutely screams for more. There’s a desperation within me because I’m acutely, unpleasantly aware that I need to hungry grab all the pleasure I can while I’m with him, on the island, before we are separated.
I can’t imagine life without him at the moment. If I’m, honest. It’s hard to even recall that I’ve had twenty-three years without him, but I don’t want to think about it anymore. I jump up, wrapping myself around him and I tug my teeny bikini bottoms to the side so he can slip inside.
“Oh, holy shit.” My eyes close as desire grips my stomach. “Fuck, Elijah.”
The buoyancy that the water offers us takes things to a brand-new level. Since we don’t really weigh anything in the salty water surrounding us, I can bend myself a little more around him, I pull him in deeper, and I fuck him hard.
Each thrust brings a new memory with it, intensifying each and every wild sensation. Breathing him in right before we kissed the first time in his cabin. Every intense moment of our first ‘date’ and the wild sex that came afterward. His lips wrapped around my clit, me drinking his cock into my mouth, the bathroom in the nightclub…
But it’s so much more than that. It’s every shared look as well, every knowing moment where we connected in the sadness that this can’t last. It’s the way he makes me feel when he wraps his arms around me, when he presses his lips to mine ever so gently, when he curves his lips up into a smile just because he seems to like me so much.
The waves we create as we thrash against one another in the water combine with the sounds of us losing our minds all over again with each other. The orgasm is as powerful as the ocean and honestly feels like it’ll never stop coming. Even here in the water, which isn’t the most comfortable place to have sex in, even if it’s a thrilling new adventure, he can give me the sort of overwhelming orgasm that absolutely bolts like lightning through my whole body.
It’s fizzing and sizzling, I honestly lose my mind over him.
We’re both crazy for one another, both all fired up. But as Elijah rests his forehead against mine I can sense a new feeling blowing in the wind around us. Something deeper that neither of us can accept. Or at the very least to express out loud, because once we say these things out loud they will become so unbearably real and we will have to try and face it some way or another.
Even though it really is absolutely impossible and there is no way out.
There would be no reason to talk about something that we can’t act on anyway, because it wouldn’t make any difference.
No matter what the intensity of our feelings are, we can’t act upon them.
“You,” he murmurs lightly, trying to let out a little laugh but I can hear the pain in his voice. “You really are something else, Isabella Henry.”
My name is like electricity on his tongue. It feels so perfect, like it belongs there. I want to hear him saying it over and over again. I grip him hard, refusing to let him go for even a moment as I kiss him harder, snaking my tongue inside his mouth once more. It’s always phenomenal being together and connecting on a physical level, but the pulling apart sucks. It causes all the heat to zip out of us, all the joy to ebb away, because it’s a strong reminder that it really isn’t long now before the time apart will be much more permeant.
Soon, we start the conversation about how to get back so Olivia doesn’t start to suspect, which is a chat I’m getting uncomfortably used to these days. This one little detail is absolutely killer, especially because we both care about Olivia so damn much.
Urgh, with all the happiness, there is a heavy weight of sadness and guilt that comes with it. It’s only that part I’m looking forward to getting away from. Once we leave, I can go back to being a decent friend all over again.
Hopefully.
I don’t know if I will ever feel quite the same though…
ChapterTwenty-Five
ELIJAH
“Thank you for coming to eat with me again,” I tell Olivia as the waiter brings over our orders. “I’m just hoping that since we’re going home in the morning, that we can have a final chat before we go. I think there is still some air to be cleared.”
Olivia coughs as she focuses on her dinner plate before she nods. “Yeah, I agree, and a lot of that is because of me. I know I haven’t been very kind to you, which isn’t fair…”
I shake my head, interrupting her quickly. “No way, I don’t want you to feel bad. I understand completely why you have been so guarded with me. I would be the same if I was you. It’s been a lot to take in, hasn’t it? Finally learning about the past and everything. And I really don’t want you to think that any of that was an excuse because that isn’t the case. I just wanted you to understand why things happened as they did.”
Olivia pauses for a moment, looking like she’s rolling the words around in her mind, trying to process everything. I sit back and wait for her to work things out for herself. Much as I want to push her, to find out what’s going on, I know I can’t. I have to be patient. Things can’t work on my timeline; I know I have to be patient right now.
“I think I do understand, Dad,” she finally replies much to my relief. “It’s a bit of a struggle for me, I’ve had to process it a lot. I know it seems like I have just been distracting myself with Benji and everything, but I have been working through my feelings as well. It’s been weird because I never really knew what happened. Mom never said much, but I get it. I don’t think things are going to be perfect for us, it still might take some time, but I’m willing if you are.”
