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“Well, I won’t keep you,” he says, folding his notebook and returning it to the inside pocket of his jacket. Then as we reach the door, he turns around and smiles. “You don’t remember me?”
“I’m sorry?”
“I spoke to you, although not in this office.” He glances around the room. “When your student died.”
I raise my head slowly. “Yes. I remember now. I thought you looked familiar,” I lie.
“Alex, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, that’s right.” I rarely ever think about Alex anymore. It all seems like such a long time ago, much longer than the six weeks or so since he died. I try to work out how I feel, hearing his name, and I come up with nothing. I literally feel nothing.
“That’s an odd case, too,” he says.
My jaw tenses. “Is it?”
“Certainly. It’s not every day you investigate someone who died by jumping out of a window. AlexBrooks.”
“That’s right.”
“You were rather close to him. That must have been a shock, too.”
“Of course it was. All of us here in the mathematics department, myself included, were rather close to him, as you put it. I’m pretty sure we spoke at length to the police at the time. To you, I mean, since it was you. I remember now.”
“Just out of curiosity, did you and Alex Brooks ever have any disagreements? Any difficulties working together?”
I have a headache. It’s making my eyeballs wobble and I’m having a hard time focusing. “Why on earth would you ask me that now?” I finally manage to say.
“My apologies. I should have clarified. The examiner hasn’t ruled yet on whether his death was accidental or whether it was suicide. It’s taking some time. Since I happened to be here talking to you, and you and Alex Brooks worked closely together, I was taking the opportunity to ask about his state of mind. I know doctoral work can be very taxing on young people.”
I shake my head. “Oh. Sorry, I thought…forget that. I wasn’t thinking. Did you say suicide?”
“It’s a possibility.”
“I see.” I think about this for a moment. Rub my hands over my arms, like I’m trying to warm myself up. “To answer your question, yes and no. I was his supervisor—”
“Which is why I was asking.”
“Yes.” I raise my hand. It’s shaking. I cross my arms. “I understand that now. He was struggling, yes. He was late on his thesis—they all are, to be honest. Just once I’d like to see a student turn in a thesis on time!” I laugh, then catch myself. “I’m sorry. What I was going to say is, I hardly ever saw him because he stopped coming. He liked to work at home, on his own, in his own time. I was concerned he was using drugs, maybe some kind of amphetamines, stimulants of sort? I don’t know if that helps.”
“Thank you. It does.”
“And I wish I’d said something sooner, about the drug use. If he was using I mean, I actually have no idea. Just an impression I got. I think I even mentioned it at the time.”
Detective Jones watches me for a moment, then he nods abruptly, thanks me, and finally walks out.
I let out a breath as I sit there with my heart thumping and what’s left of my fingernails between my teeth. Why did I have to say that?I hardly ever saw him anymore but I was worried about his excessive drug use.How would I know that if I never saw him? Did Detective Jones pick up on that? That I’m inconsistent? Of course he did. That’s his job, catching people out when they lie. Also, did I say that the first time they came to ask about Alex?I hardly ever saw him anymore.I have no idea. I can’t remember.
I call Luis. “Have they been yet?”
“Yes, a female detective. She’s gone.”
I release a breath. “A detective came to talk to me too, just now.”
“What did he say?”
“Same as you, I suspect. Asked how she seemed when I saw her last. Which was last Friday. That’s what I said.” I wonder if he’s going to contradict me, but he doesn’t. “They said she died by falling down the stairs.”
He doesn’t reply.
