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“Kat, sweetie. It’s going to be okay. Why don’t you—”
“N-no, I can’t. I won’t. I need… go. I need to go.” I can’t breathe.
If they take her from me that is it.
“Katrina, you need to calm the fuck down,” my brother’s voice barely penetrates the storm circling me.
“I can’t breathe,” I cry. “I-I can’t… no, please. Don’t take her.” The air turns thin as I fight to drag in a breath. Anything to make me breathe again.
“D, get a doctor. She’s having a panic attack. Kat, Katrina, breathe, sweetie, you need to breathe.”
My vision blurs as my head swims with fear. “I-I can’t, I—”
Darkness seeps in, pulling me under.
Swallowing me whole.
30
STYX
“Any news?” I bark as Ryder storms into the house with yet another bag of his shit thrown over his shoulder.
For someone who told me he didn’t own much, he seems to have found a lot of stuff from somewhere because he’s quickly filling up my guest room and turning it into his own.
It’s not an issue. Far from it. It just amuses me every time he shows up. Something has to make me smile since everything else in my life is utter shit.
Kat hasn’t spoken to me since she sent us away from the hospital. And although I know she accepted Ryder’s support the first night Evelyn was taken into the hospital—something that I was not fucking happy about, I should add—she’s refused to talk to him since too.
It’s eating at him just as much as it is me. We’re both as miserable as each other, and it’s really starting to get on my last nerve.
I just want the chance to apologize to her. To tell her that I’m here for her while her life continues to spin out of control. But I fucking can’t. And it’s killing me.
“They moved Evelyn into a care home this morning. Diesel has spent all day there making sure she’s comfortable,” Ryder informs me, dropping his bag to the floor at his feet.
“And Kat?” I don’t need to ask. I can see his concern for her etched into every one of his features, and I know he cares about her enough not to keep me in the dark.
“Not good. She still hasn’t left her bedroom. She’s refusing to talk to anyone. She’s—”
“Shut down,” I finish for him.
I’ve been watching her head down this road for a long time now, I just really hoped I could stop it. Or at least be there when she finally lost control.
“Fuck. We need to do something, man.”
“Like what? Break the fucking door down and demand she talks to us. I can’t exactly see that going down well with anyone.”
“At this point, I don’t really give a fuck. She needs m— she needs us,” I correct.
If I’ve learned anything over the past few days while the pair of us have sulked over this whole situation is that Ryder cares about my kitty kat just as much as I do.
It fucking pains me to admit it. But I can see it in his eyes whenever one of us so much as mentions her. Hell, even when he thinks about her.
She’s caught him in her trap just like she did me all those months ago.
“Fucking hell,” I groan scrubbing my hand down my face.
I’ve never felt so fucking useless in all my life.
