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After breakfast, I get ready and go to her room to ask, “I’m heading to the market. Do you have any special requests?”
She shakes her head. “Not really. I’ll be here, going through these boxes.”
I notice she’s taken down boxes from the hall closet. I remember them always being there, but I honestly had no clue what was in them until now. As I glance in one, I see all kinds of memorabilia from both her childhood and mine.
Instead of leaving, I curl up next to her and go through the boxes, and we relive our past. Pictures of her father, who passed before I was born, and ones from her childhood. She can tell me exactly who they are, but when she pulls out a picture of her and my dad, she holds it up to me.
“Who’s this?”
I pause and take a second to stare at the man who left us so many years ago.
“It’s my father. You don’t remember him?”
She shrugs and goes about searching in the box for other things, like it’s not important one bit that she didn’t recognize him.
“Did you really not know who this was?” I stop her to ask.
She looks at me with confusion written all over her face. “How was I supposed to know who your father was?”
She goes back to taking things out of the box while I sit, absolutely stunned by her statement. After taking a deep breath, I set the photo down and realize I need a minute to let this digest.
“I’m going to go to the store. I’ll be back.”
“I’ll be here,” she says without looking up, going about her task.
I grab her keys from the bowl on the kitchen counter, where she leaves them all the time, and head out, so I can fully process what she just said.
These last two days have been unreal. One minute, I think she’s totally fine, and the next, I’m wondering how she’s been able to live on her own this entire time.
I drive around Mason Creek in a daze as my mind goes over everything that just happened. The town is not very big, so by the time I’ve lapped the main drags a few times, Matthew’s hitting facility comes to mind, and I take the left turn down East Old Bridge Road to where the old barn is.
When I see his truck parked out front, I pull up next to it and turn off the engine to the car.
I can’t believe he still has the same old truck.
So many memories rush through me from this truck. It was our saving grace when he turned sixteen. It was our lifeline to freedom and the only time we could be alone.
I bite my lip as I remember the times we spent curled up in each other’s arms, just talking. He was always so patient with me. No matter how much shit his friends gave him, he never pressured me to do anything I wasn’t ready for back then.
That alone is what taught me who to trust, especially when it came to guys.
I’ve dated a few guys here and there, but it was hard to figure out if they wanted me or the persona they saw onstage. Turned out, they all just wanted in my pants and nothing more. As soon as I turned them down, they were out the door faster than I could sing my first lyrics.
There was one who lasted a few months that I finally gave myself to, but in the end I was just too busy with my career, so I ended it with him. At least, that was what I told myself. As I sit here right now, I know it wasn’t the truth. Deep down, I knew he could never be Matthew.
I glance to the door and wonder if it would be weird if I went in to say hello. By the lack of cars out front, I’m guessing he’s alone.
Before I lose my nerve, I hop out of the car and head to the door and slide it open.
Matthew’s quick to turn to me, and I swear I see a hint of a smile that fades just as fast as it appeared as I close the door behind me.
“Oh, hey. What are you up to?” he asks as he finishes closing off one of the large nets that pulls out to create a batting cage.
“Just driving around town. Thought I’d stop by to check out the place.”
I look all around at how amazing this place really is. There’s turf covering the entire floor and baselines drawn throughout, creating an indoor infield. Above us are huge nets, strung from wire, that seem to close off sections of the fields in a variety of configurations.
“I can’t believe you opened this.” I slowly shake my head in awe, then look back at him. “This is really cool. The kids must love it, especially in the winter.”
