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He needed to talk to someone he could trust.
I was that someone.
‘Years ago,’ I said huskily, ‘I told you that I was your friend.’
He glanced up at me and this time I couldn’t read his expression at all, his black eyes fathomless. He didn’t speak, only stared at me.
‘I’m still your friend, Con. You don’t need to distance yourself. You don’t need to protect me. I know you. I have known you since I was a child, and there is nothing in you that scares me. You can trust me. I’m here for you. I always have been.’
He said nothing for a long moment. Then abruptly he leaned down and brushed his mouth over mine in a featherlight kiss.
I dug my fingers into the hard muscle of his shoulders, wanting more, but he didn’t deepen it, only lifted his head, staring down into my eyes. His hand curved over my stomach, where our baby grew. ‘I will not hurt our child,’ he said, with all the certainty of a vow. ‘I became like Domingo in order to survive, but I will never be like him as a father. Never.’
‘I know,’ I said simply. ‘And you’re not him. You never were.’
His hand was large and warm, resting on my stomach.
‘You’re going to make a wonderful mother, Jenny. I couldn’t ask for a better mother for my children.’
A flush of heat went through me, my whole being responding to his praise like a flower opening its petals to the sun. I felt as if I was back in his study and he was telling me very seriously that my mother didn’t know what she was talking about and that if I wanted to try for med school I should, because I had both the intelligence and the work ethic.
‘I don’t know...’ I felt oddly hesitant. ‘I didn’t have the best role model for a mother. I have no idea of how or what you’re supposed to do, or...or anything, really.’
They were fears I’d had, but never wanted to acknowledge. That for all my determination to provide a stable and secure home for my child, I wouldn’t be able to.
There had been so many things I’d wanted to do, and I’d never succeeded at any of them, so how was I supposed to succeed at this?
‘Does anyone the first time they become a parent?’ His hand lifted and cupped my cheek, his thumb brushing over my cheekbone. ‘You’re beautiful, you’re successful, you’re—’
I snorted. ‘I’m not successful.’
‘You are,’ he insisted. ‘You wanted to work with charities and that’s exactly what you’re doing. Isn’t that success? Working in a job that makes you happy and fulfils you?’
‘I suppose so.’ I sighed. ‘I never got into med school, though.’
‘So?’ One imperious black brow rose. ‘You can try again, you know. Plenty of people go back to university years after they leave school.’
I rolled my eyes and gave his shoulder a little push. ‘That’s not the point.’
He ignored the push. ‘Then what is?’
‘You know... I think I’m just unsure. I badly want to be a better mother than mine was. I want to give our child the best start in life that I can.’
Something in his hard face softened, his beautiful mouth curving. ‘And you will. You already know whatnotto do, correct?’
‘True.’
‘And, apart from that, you’re warm, you’re empathetic, you’re giving. And you care. You have so much love to give our baby, Jenny. You will be the best mother a child could have.’
There was so much conviction in his voice that my throat closed with emotion. He’d always had the ability to make me feel better about myself. Always.
‘Thank you,’ I said huskily, reaching out to touch his face. ‘That means a lot to me.’ Then, to lighten the atmosphere, because I didn’t want to cry, I said, ‘She always thought I should marry you. That since she had Domingo I should get in there and snag you.’
It was a risk to tease him with that, because I had no idea how he’d take it. I hoped he’d understand that it wasn’t something I’d ever have done, but who knew?
Yet his dark eyes glittered with amusement, the lines around his hard, carved mouth relaxing. ‘Well, you did snag me, didn’t you?’ He shifted against me. ‘And now that you have, what are you going to do with me?’
My heart fluttered. I’d thought I’d lost the ability to make him smile and, while it wasn’t quite like the smiles he’d used to give me, the potential was there.
