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‘Domingo had an estate in the Caribbean that he used to take Valentin and I to,’ he said after a moment. ‘Valentin got to know a girl from a neighbouring estate and she became his friend. He used to meet her on a secret beach, very much against our father’s wishes.’
I wasn’t sure why he was telling me this, but there was no way I was going to interrupt him so I stayed silent, watching him.
‘That girl was Olivia,’ he went on. ‘Her family used to holiday on the same island.’
A shock of surprise went through me. ‘Really?’
‘Yes. I was...jealous. Not of Valentin, but of her. She took away the one person I had, because he didn’t want to spend any time with me when she was there, he only wanted to spend time with her. I was angry with him for choosing her over me. And he always made our situation worse by not doing what Domingo said and making him angry. I felt that Domingo even liked it when Valentin rebelled, and that somehow he preferred Valentin’s rebellions to me doing everything he said.’ Con paused, looking down at the champagne in his hand. ‘He preferred resistance. He liked it... Anyway, I was furious that Valentin was disobeying Domingo by continuing to see Olivia, by developing a friendship we weren’t allowed and by preferring to spend time with her than with me. So, I...went to Domingo and told him what Valentin was doing.’
A thread of tension wound through me.
‘Papa was furious. He ordered Valentin to stop seeing her, but Valentin wouldn’t. So Domingo locked him in his room. He wasn’t allowed to come out until he agreed to stop seeing Olivia. But Valentin refused.’ Con’s perfect face was hard, his mouth a grim line. ‘I pleaded with him to agree, because I knew Domingo. He’d keep Valentin in that room for ever if he had to. But Valentin kept saying no. He stayed in that room for six months.’
Ice pooled in my gut. Six months? He’d stayed in his room for six months?
‘He wouldn’t listen to me,’ Con went on, his accent deepening. ‘He refused. I needed him, but his battle with Domingo was more important than I was. Even protecting Olivia wasn’t as important. I didn’t understand him—I never did. And in the end all I could do was find the key and give it to him, because I knew he’d never give in. And I was the one who’d put him there.’ Con looked at me, his gaze sharp enough to cut. ‘You wanted to know why I kicked down your door? Because I spent hours, days, sitting outside Val’s locked door, desperate for him to come out. And he never did.’
There was anguish in his eyes, and grief.
‘Con—’ I began.
‘No, I haven’t finished.’ His voice was hoarse. ‘I’m telling you this because you asked me a few days ago who protected me, and the answer is that you did. You protected me, Jenny. And you will never know how much that meant to me. But you have to understand that you also need protection. I always thought the danger came from my father, but it doesn’t, not any more.’ He took a breath, then caught my gaze. ‘It comes from me.’
I blinked at him, not understanding. ‘What do you mean, the danger comes from you?’
‘Emotions are grenades. They can explode at any time. You saw what happened when you locked the door on me. And when Valentin refused to give Olivia up. When he left me—’ Con stopped, darkness in his eyes. ‘I am that grenade, Jenny. I am unstable when I let my emotions get the better of me. And when that happens, you are at risk.’ He took another breath. ‘I want to be your friend. I don’t want to cause you any more pain than I already have. But when we get back to London you will have to allow me to keep some emotional distance from you.’
I stared at him in shock, trying to process what he’d said. ‘I don’t understand. You’re not unstable. You’re not a danger. What on earth makes you think that?’
He glanced down at the heather in bloom all around us. ‘Kicking down your door. Getting Val locked in his room. Being so angry with him. There have been other instances.’
‘Con—’
‘No, please.’ He glanced up again. ‘Not now. Let’s have this day just for us.’
I wanted to push. I wanted to tell him he was wrong, that he wasn’t unstable or volatile or a grenade. He was only a man who felt deeply and who’d never learned how to deal with his emotions. Who’d been scarred by his childhood. That was all. He wasn’t a danger, not to me.
But he was right. This day was for us, not for the past, so I put down my grape juice, then went over to him and relieved him of his glass. Then I wriggled into his lap, winding my arms around him. I didn’t speak. I simply pressed my face to his throat, holding him tightly.
He was still a moment, his big, powerful body tense. Then his arms closed around me and he crushed me to him, burying his face in my hair.
We stayed like that for a long time, and then Con released me. But only so he could pull me down on the picnic blanket beside him. Then he tugged open the tie of my dress and spread the fabric out, baring me to the deep blue sky above. He bent his head and kissed me, his mouth tasting of champagne and the delicious dark flavour that was all him. Then he got rid of my clothes and turned his hunger on me, making a meal of my body, feasting on me as if he’d never had anything quite so delicious.
Only when he had me quivering in delight and shaking with need did he strip his own clothes off and rise above me, naked and magnificent, his olive skin burnished by the sun. Then he thrust into me in one hard movement, making me cry out his name.
And when he moved, deep and slow, turning my pleasure into white-hot passion in seconds flat, I cried out his name again.
Perhaps it was then that I knew, even though consciously I didn’t want to admit it. Knew that no matter how many months had passed, and no matter how many promises I’d made to myself, no matter how many stern talking-tos I’d given myself, I was still in love with him.
And friendship would never be enough.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Constantine
IFORGOTABOUTgoing to the cottage. I forgot about the company. I even forgot about Valentin. All I wanted to do was spend time with Jenny.
I taught her the basics of riding, making sure to put her on the gentlest horse, and took her for a walk around one of the fields. She turned out to be a natural on horseback, which thrilled her since, as she told me, she hadn’t been a natural at anything before.
