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But she should.Someoneshould.
And that someone should be me.
She was in my heart, in my soul. She was part of me. And I loved her.
The warmth inside me glowed brighter, stronger, melting away the ice around my heart, cracking all my armour. And I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t bear being without her one second longer.
I turned to the doorway and without a word headed straight for it.
‘I take it you’re going to London?’ Val asked from behind me. ‘I’ll just clean up here, shall I?’
I didn’t answer.
I left him to it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Jenny
IHADN’TBROUGHTan umbrella, so I got soaked on my walk from the tube station to my flat. My dress was clinging uncomfortably to my skin as I put the key in the lock and opened the door, chilling me to the bone.
I was feeling very low. It had been a long day at the shelter, which always took it out of me. I often felt emotionally drained afterwards, and for the past few days I’d felt even worse.
I missed Con so badly. Every minute I’d think staying away wasn’t worth it, and I’d nearly go to book myself a ticket to Edinburgh, only to remember that I wasn’t doing this for me, that I couldn’t go to him.
It was his decision to remain alone, not mine, and forcing myself on him would only make things more difficult.
I went into the kitchen and made myself a hot cup of tea, shivering in my damp dress and trying to fight the memories that always claimed me whenever I was alone. Memories of purple heather and Con’s black eyes. Of the way they’d light up whenever he talked about something he was passionate about. Of the way his mouth would soften into an almost-smile when he was amused. Of the way he’d touched me, sometimes with such demand he’d set me on fire, and sometimes with such tenderness he’d made me cry.
Of that room full of things that were precious to him.
He was a man desperately in search of something to ease the loneliness inside him, just like my mother. And, just like her, he couldn’t see that that something had been right in front of him all this time.
The flat was dark, and when I felt the baby give a little kick, tears started in my eyes. I put my hand on my stomach. ‘It’s okay, little one. We have to hope Daddy will change his mind one day. And he will. I’m sure of it.’
Except I wasn’t at all sure he would.
A knock came on the door and I sighed, debating whether or not to answer it, since I wasn’t up for visitors. But when the knock came again, and louder this time, I pulled a face and went into the hall to open it.
A man stood on the steps outside, rain soaking his expensive suit and catching in his eyelashes, turning his hair into watered black silk. He was looking at me as if I was his last chance of salvation.
My heart almost stopped beating.
‘Jenny,’ Con said hoarsely, before I could speak. ‘I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want you to leave. I never want you to leave.’
Tears blurred my vision and that stone was back in my throat, preventing me from speaking.
‘You’re in my heart,’ he went on, dark eyes searching my face. ‘You’re part of me. You always have been. And I’m sorry I let you go. I’m sorry I sent you away. I truly thought that I was protecting you, but...you were right. You were right about all of it. Domingo did still have a hold on me. I wanted to believe what he said about me because...’ Con took a deep, shuddering breath. ‘I was afraid. Afraid of how deeply I felt about you. How deeply I loved you. I’ve loved you since you were eighteen.’
I blinked back the tears and my whole body was trembling with shock. And then, as that began to fade, reality began to sink in.
Hewashere. He really was. And he loved me.
Wordlessly, I reached for his hand and pulled him into the hall, out of the rain, shutting the door behind him.
He stood there, dripping on the threadbare carpet, not seeming at all bothered by how wet he was, staring only at me. His eyes burned with that dark fire I’d come to love so very much...the dark fire that lay at the heart of him.
‘Val came to see me,’ he said into the heavy silence, because my voice had stopped working. ‘And he told me that I could choose to stay broken or I could choose to heal. And I...’
