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So I got it online from this fab new designer outlet store, Poshnet. They’re one of our new sponsors and I can’t believe how lucky we are to be working with them, because they’re just amazing! For those of you who don’t know, Poshnet is a discount site selling genuine designer labels at, like, atenthof retail. Some of their clothes are samples from shows so if you’re super-skinny you’ll get your pick of the current season, but for the rest of us normal girls who actually have boobs and a bum –youknow what I’m saying, ladies! – they’re basically from last season or pre-owned but you totally wouldn’t know.
Anyway, you have to check them out, Poshnet.com, they’re just awesome. I’ll pop a link in the description bar below.
So there’s the red dress. And then this one, I know black’s a cliché, but it’s totally classic and sort of Audrey Hepburn and I think it makes me look sophisticated, what d’you think, guys?
Let me know which one you prefer, my lovelies. There should be a button for you below so you can vote, or tell me what you think in the comments section below.
By the way, what do you think of this hairstyle for tonight? Oops, let me turn the camera so you can see the magazine better. I thought I’d try out something new for the party, kind of like a messy up-do. You know, formal, but in, like, ayoungway.
OK, now Kyle’s out of the room, I can tell you a bit more about this party tonight. Actually, between you and me, it’s not really a party, it’s a charity gala, you know, one of those posh dinners where people auction a week on their yacht or a private recording session or whatever to raise money. Kyle will kill me when he finds out, he hates this kind of thing, but I kind of feel we’re so blessed, we need to give back more, you know? I often ask myself, what would Meghan or Amal do?
And the other reason we’re going is because the woman we’re buying the house from, she’s going to be there.
I know what you’re thinking, peeps, and hear me out, I’m not some kind of crazy stalker! But it’s really,reallyhard to get into a good school where we’re moving. And with these things, it’s always about who you know, isn’t it?
I don’t want to sound shallow, but people judge you by your friends, don’t they?
And you don’t have tolikesomeone to be friends with them.
I’ll be honest, I thought this woman was a bit of a bitch when I met her. But then our estate agent told me she’s a surgeon, which makes sense. They’re always a bit spectrum-y, aren’t they? If we’re allowed to say that. No offence to all the spectrum people. But you know what I mean.
Oh, God, I know it soundstotallystalker-y, but we really need to make the right sort of friends if we’re going to fit in properly, sopleasedon’t judge me!
Anyway, it’s just a party! What’s the worst that can happen?
chapter 11
millie
Peter sits cross-legged on the floor, watching me put on my make-up. He isn’t annoying me exactly, but the boy’s ten. He should be playing Fortnite on his phone, not hanging around watching his mother apply her lipstick.
His sister appears in the doorway. ‘Mummy’s boy,’ she says. ‘You’re so freaking lame. What are you,gay?’
‘I’m not gay!’
‘Don’t be a bitch,’ I tell my daughter.
My son is already running from the room. In the wild, certain shark embryos cannibalise their littermates in the womb, with the largest embryo eating its siblings. It’s Darwinian out there.
‘Dad told me to tell you Hatley’s here,’ Meddie says.
‘MrsHatley,’ I correct.
‘Why do we need a babysitter, anyway? I’m thirteen. I don’t need someone to look after me.’
‘Peter does.’
We both know why.
Meddie lounges against the doorjamb, watching me with Tom’s eyes. ‘You look very beautiful,’ she says.
I spritz Chanel No. 5 on the inside of my wrists. ‘Thank you, Meddie. Please don’t give Mrs Hatley any trouble,’ I add, standing up and putting my phone in my jewelled clutch.
Stacey Porter must be watching out for us: Tom and I have barely checked our coats before she finds us.
‘I love your dress!’ she exclaims, holding me at arm’s length as she surveys me from head to toe. ‘Is it vintage? And your hair! Very Veronica Lake.’
Tom’s idea: he knows how much I hate getting dressed up for these things.Let’s go vintage, he suggested, when he presented me with this dress, a gift to celebrate our house going under contract.It’s glam, but not obvious, and you won’t have to show too much skin.
