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Malee stared at her. “You’ve got it bad, haven’t you?”
Kendra lowered her head. “I’ve never felt this way before.”
“Well, thanks for that, mate.” Malee punched her lightly on the arm.
Kendra laughed through her sniffles. “We were different.”
Malee punched her again. “Don’t dig the hole any deeper. What you going to do?”
Kendra thumbed the tears from her cheek. “She wants to talk, so I’ll let her talk. I’ll show her around, and then she can go home.” The last bit stuck in Kendra’s throat.
“Go back to her family and her all-important job.”
Kendra held Malee’s gaze as her stomach roiled, and her heart became heavy. “Maybe we can be friends.” She shrugged.
Malee frowned. “You’re going to get hurt again. Gamblers always lose, Kenny.”
“Too late for that,” she said. She already knew what that loss felt like. Maybe it was the memory of the pain she’d arrived with, but she still couldn’t reject Sarah no matter how much it hurt. She wanted to hold Sarah in her arms, to love her, and to reconnect with the place they had known together, the place that Kendra had felt most alive.
Sarah had felt it too, otherwise she wouldn’t have come here. She could have carried on with her life, become the next PM, and moved on. But she hadn’t done that. She’d turned up here in secret, and that said something. Kendra had to give Sarah a chance to explain, although to what end she didn’t know. She made her way down the track to help Kim Cheng with the preparations for the evening meal. Her mind whirled, and her heart ached with the sliver of optimism that had caused it to pulse with life again. She’d sworn she wasn’t going to open her heart ever again, but she’d never really stopped loving Sarah. The warmth in her chest expanded as she worked and thought about Sarah. But she had to protect herself too. Malee was right. She was in danger of getting hurt again, but what other choice did she have? Love didn’t have an on-off switch. She would have to face the situation the best she could and accept that by the end of the week it might all come to an end again. At least if it did, maybe they could part as friends this time around. Hope was a dangerous thing, but she wouldn’t give it up.
25.
SARAH HAD STARED ATthe back of the closed door until she couldn’t hear Kendra’s fast pace hitting the wooden pontoon. That Kendra couldn’t get away from her quickly enough had been another gutting punch. She deserved everything Kendra threw at her but seeing the anguish in Kendra’s expression had been the killer blow. She hadn’t been able to work out whether the anger she’d picked up from Kendra was the result of Sarah turning up or about what had happened. On the plus side, Kendra hadn’t asked her to leave, and Sarah had cradled the fragile hint of optimism like a new baby.
The faster she sipped the chilled bottle of water, the faster it seemed to appear on the surface of her skin. She stared out at the quiet lake from the seat on the deck of her hut, hoping the descending sun would bring some respite from the humidity. A shoal of black fish with silver backs, each no bigger than her little finger, darted through the water and beneath the deck. They were a perfect example of what life could be like. Freedom from everything she’d chased since a child hadn’t crossed her mind before. How could it when she was so tightly entwined within the system that had created the adult form of herself? Not being a part of it wasn’t an option.
She turned as the door onto the decking of the last hut in the row opened. Kendra stepped out.
“Humid, isn’t it?” Kendra said. She took a drink from a bottle of beer.
“You have beer in your fridge?” Sarah laughed.
Kendra went back into her hut, and a weight slipped into Sarah’s stomach. She’d never been one for treading on eggshells—she’d be more likely to crush them without even realising they were there—but in this case, she should just keep her mouth shut and give Kendra time to adjust. She lightened when Kendra reappeared.
“Here.” Kendra held out a bottle across the narrow strip of water that separated their decks.
Sarah reached across the space. Being careful not to make physical contact with Kendra, she took the bottle and raised it to her. “Cheers,” she said and took a long swallow. “I don’t know what that is, but it tastes good right now.”
Kendra smiled. “It’s a local brew.”
Sarah wanted to admire Kendra more than she wanted to breathe, but she looked back out over the lake and took another sip of her drink. “I stayed on a project in Africa for a month when I studied at uni,” she said. “They used to make some strong brew.”
“Whereabouts?”
“East Africa. I did the commercial thing, the gorilla trek and Kilimanjaro, but one of the camps we stayed at was pretty basic.”
Kendra chuckled.
“What?”
“I can’t imagine you roughing it in the wild.”
Sarah nodded. It had been a long time ago when she hadn’t cared for the comforts of a five-star hotel with its modern conveniences, when the eco-warrior in her had been at its peak, striving to save the world from humanity. That period of her life had been short because the twins came along swiftly after that. A lot had changed since getting into politics and that spark of life had been buried within her even before the children were born. “We took the children camping a couple of times when they were much younger,” she said. It didn’t compare with the wilderness, but it was something.
“Did they enjoy it?”
“Abi loved it, other than whining about the persistent rain. The discomfort of sleeping on a camp bed was too much for me. Thankfully, this isn’t too rough.”
